By Clell65619
Reviews
mythic77 posted a comment on Sunday 13th January 2013 1:54am
Love your writing. Wish you'd spend some time finishing things before going on to something else---(especially the Elder Sect chapters) but I'm sure I've said similar before (I am, after all, a fan of the Destroyer stories).
This story is different, and not just because it's an original. I wasn't a squid like you, I was in (CLASSIFIED). Actually, it wasn't THAT secret, more embarrasing, really, so I shant say. It was on the ground, though, and facing things I don't really care to think too much about.. These things stood out, brought things to mind, how I wrote them down, and how I reacted to them. I will say that my experience is at LEAST a generation before this. SE Asia was no picnic!
"First Sgt., secure the area!"
later, "The area's secure, Lieutenant."
(Lieutenant, you done good.) NO, NO, NO I didn't! (Me)
"That's just how it is for soldiers."
Wish it wasn't so, but I think you nailed it.
Mythic77
MrRobertsIII posted a comment on Friday 22nd October 2010 9:27am
Excellent! Never occurred to me until the reveal.
We’ve got lots of medics
-good one
Have you read Jim Bernheimer's (JBern) "Dead Eye"? Feels very much like that in a very good way.
Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Wednesday 20th October 2010 9:21pm
'Tch, that poor demon never stood a chance against true warriors. I will admit that this does give a very different meaning to "putting your ghosts to rest"; they'll stick with him but methinks they'll all be a lot more comfortable now. I can see the LT starting to get back into life, perhaps with the doctor, perhaps with someone(s) else, but getting back into life now that he's dealt with this. *chuckle* You have to wonder just how that demon's "boss" took it when they took the bloody thing apart like that.
'Tis a most enjoyable story and I look forward to reading further original work by you as your muse inspires.
Wolff posted a comment on Wednesday 20th October 2010 11:02am
Wow... that was quite good, and his squadmates being ghosts themselves came as a interesting surprise. Nicely done!
Patches posted a comment on Monday 18th October 2010 11:16am
This is good. Quite different from my usual reads but I like it. I like the way they dispatched the ghosts. I hope it is permanent. Thanks for writing. pms
Dale Dietzman posted a comment on Monday 18th October 2010 9:02am
A second review is in order now, since you circulated the "Final Version" of this story separately.
I think it should be posted here, as an alternate to this one, although I liked the ambiguity of the version posed here, and I second the other reviewer's succestion for "Tales of the LT and the Ghost Squad" series. Even if you have to have them return, after the new version.
David21 posted a comment on Monday 18th October 2010 9:01am
I thoroughly enjoyed this story. I really didn't want it to end; and I wish there were another chapter. (Hint, hint!)
Seriously, I've followed your stuff on Jeconais' website for some time now and I especially like "Night of the Mini-Lop" and "Dark Lord prevention Technology". You've got a good voice for the twist.
-Ciardubhain
Jonathan Langford posted a comment on Saturday 16th October 2010 12:27pm
Very nice. I felt like an idiot because I was almost halfway through before it dawned on me that the men were ghosts, too.
It does leave one wondering when (if ever) his squad will leave.
Nicely done on not ever going into details about Wardak.
Ian Quest posted a comment on Saturday 16th October 2010 12:57am
Brilliant! Loved this story; even although you could see what was coming, it was interesting and well-written enough to be worth the build-up. I certainly don't agree that this is 'not good enough' for the contest; it may not meet the contest restrictions, but it's still a darn good story! Great work, and as always, a pleasure to read something new by you!
Dale Dietzman posted a comment on Friday 15th October 2010 12:29pm
Nicely done. The ghosts kill the Ghost/Demon/Whatevertheh*ll! Good to know our absent comrads, who many of us vets feel are not that absent, still retain their skills, not to mention their personal weapons!
bkfriend posted a comment on Thursday 14th October 2010 8:22pm
I really liked it. Took me till half way through to figure out that his squad members were ghosts. In passing this reads as well as any short story in a paid for book.
Bob Officer posted a comment on Thursday 14th October 2010 6:49pm
I didn't know what to think, before I started. and After I read a few lines I was hooked. The ending was prefect, leading reader to create the end results.
This could be a pilot for a great set of short stories, _LT and the Ghost Squad_. It would a lot better then and sappy ghost whisperer and a lot more meaningful than _Medium_.
rune1806 posted a comment on Thursday 14th October 2010 1:47pm
The story was rather vague and I am still unclear what happened. The ghost? could not touch him but tossed him across the room. Also what happened to the ghost?, how if the ghost could not touch him did they touch the ghost? Sorry I did not like it, it just needs more too it.
Clell65619 replied:
- The Demon grabbed the Lieutenant by the spectral aspect of his severed left leg, his 'phantom limb' if you will. That is how the demon could interact with the Lieutenant.
- The Squad on the other hand were all ghosts. They were ambushed during a patrol in Wardak and the Lieutenant lost his leg trying to save them. As Ghosts, they could interact with the demon and so dealt with the demon the old fashioned Army way and messed him right up.
Sashi posted a comment on Thursday 14th October 2010 1:12pm
I loved this! It's clever, wonderfully self-contained and very engrosing. [Perhaps too engrosing...it's not getting my 70 literature reviews marked]. I admit, I didn't see it comming until just before 'He' arived, but it made perfect sense when I got there. I'd love to see more of the Lt. and his 'crew', although I suspect this is a one-shot. Thanks for the smiles on a rather grim marking day :)
johncgardiner posted a comment on Thursday 14th October 2010 10:38am
it was a good read. just ended to soon
muggledad posted a comment on Thursday 14th October 2010 10:25am
Very enjoyable. From one squid to another (even if you are a submariner:) ), well done. I very much enjoyed how the story revolved around the narrator, with him only interjecting every once in a while. The reason the squad stayed together wasn't ever explained, but given the point of the story, it's not really relevant, is it?
Based on your comments from The Board and the little insertion, I gather you're from/near Bolivar. I grew up outside St Louis. Go figure, two Missouri boys joining the Navy.
Anyway, enjoyed this little ficlet. Camaraderie, pain, loss, starting over and oh yeah, a little smidge of horror. Well done
Sean
Travis Slone posted a comment on Thursday 14th October 2010 5:23am
Have you read any of JBern's (Jim Bernheimer) published works? Your short story reminds me of his book Dead Eye: Pennies For the Ferryman. Other than that I have to say this was short and sweet. I think my favorite touch was the demon holding him up by his phantom limb.
gadriam posted a comment on Wednesday 13th October 2010 10:54pm
Very nice. I think the original rules rushed you a bit as the story is less ... thorough than your usual fare. That said, i really liked it. I would like to see more on this story and characters but i see that there may not be more to it. Anyway, three cheers and all. I hope he scored.
g
Greg Webb posted a comment on Wednesday 13th October 2010 8:38pm
i wish with all my heart that writers would damn well finish a story before starting new ones. so far i am reading several of your stories. you hate being asked if you are working on or going to finish a story.
take it as gospel. finish a damn story already.
if you can write new stuff, you can work on your other stories.
i usually don't get this way, but jesus man.
Clell65619 replied:
- I would recommend that you stop reading my stuff if it bothers you this much.
- Writing is my hobby. Over the 30 odd years I've been writing fan fiction, I've never been able to focus on a single story to the exclusion of others... I've tried, really I have, but I can't do it. The last time I tried I spent two and a half weeks staring at the same twelve words.
- When I write I usually have four or five Word Processor sessions running similtaneously and work on the one that interests me at that particular moment.
- I fully admit that this is a rather undisciplined approach, but as I said, this is only my hobby, between work and family I don't have that much time to spend on it... Besides, who wants to add stress to their hobby?
- Oddly I can focus exclusively on my work related reports and programming projects and easily meet my deadlines, so perhaps the solution would be for you to pay me to write...
- At least before you start complaining about my output.
fyrecat posted a comment on Friday 5th January 2018 11:29am