By Clell65619
Reviews
amsev posted a comment on Sunday 30th December 2012 1:34pm
Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!! I love that you literally threw "Dumbledore" under the bus. Excellent story!
jules3677 posted a comment on Thursday 27th December 2012 4:06am
Trolling through some old stories & reread this wonderful parody of "the marriage contract" theme. So liked all the wives, you made them interesting characters in just three chapters. Dumbledore as the ultimate evil is always fun to read. Your Dumbledore character rose to the top of the pile quickly. It was nice to read that one of those "dreadful muggles" ended his reign of evilness. Had a fun time reading your brilliant parody. Thankyou.
gara5289 posted a comment on Wednesday 21st November 2012 3:53pm
One of the best one-shots i've read in HP.
ozmial posted a comment on Friday 12th October 2012 5:48am
that was very interesting if anti climatic. but i laughed and smiled. although i raged about some. but all in all a good story thank you for takein the time to write it
Exivus posted a comment on Friday 31st August 2012 8:50pm
I did not see that coming! Living with Tom as his neighbour on an island simply blew my mind. Very refreshing story and quite humorous. I really enjoyed it.
johann posted a comment on Sunday 18th December 2011 1:46pm
what a plot twist!! I really enjoyed this fic!!
Sankara posted a comment on Friday 9th December 2011 5:58am
That really was quite entertaining. Thank you :)
normalguycap posted a comment on Tuesday 23rd August 2011 11:56pm
Whatever happened to Snape?
dzio posted a comment on Friday 15th July 2011 1:31pm
Okay, I'm going to rant now. Sorry.
I've read "Harry Potter and the Distaff Side" before this story and I thought - okay, if you reversed the genders back and had the male characters treat the women the way women treat (and speak to and think about) men in this story, we'd call them a bunch of disgusting, misogynistic bastards. That would be a pretty clever way to point out the double standards in our society and say something significant about discrimination of women. But only if that was actually the point. As it is, Harry is mostly amused by the girls opening doors for him and such, and from time to time he gets pissed off, which shocks every woman around, because oh, ah, a BOY has an opinion. And occasionally lets his inner wife-beater-in-training show, treating the Black Hat girls with as much contempt and venom as they show him - which is when the story turns downright ugly, IMHO. I think a more appropriate response would be something along the lines of "Merlin's balls, is THIS what we do to women back home?!". But no, your characters have no problems with the relations between genders looking like something from a cheap 50s sit-com and their complete lack of reaction or even opinion on this makes it look like you think that the unequal treatment of men and women is nothing more than a great source of comic relief. Add to this the bullshit comments about "naturally aggressive and dominant" men/women (depending on the reality we're talking about) and not a single serious attempt to break the stereotype - and it's beginning to sound frankly insulting.
But hey, the story is not complete, maybe someone was supposed to have a sudden epiphany in the next chapter. Or maybe you just wanted to avoid serious issues altogether. Well, I think it could have worked if this story'd been written in the early 70s...
Anyway, I still had some hope, but then I read the first chapter of "The Truth". Where the biggest concern of the characters is not the fact that someone took away their free will and manipulated their life using their trust or desperation. Noooo, they're much more worried that after the magic makes the four young wives of out hapless hero healthier, smarter and prettier, their cycles will sync and they will turn into hormonal beasts, who either tear him apart or screw his brains out. Or both, possibly.
Seriously? Is this supposed to be a script for a cheap porno?
Sorry, but no. Ten times no. Neither of those stories works as an exaggerated satire, or a light comedy, or an AU adventure, or an Independent!Harry kind of thing. They make me cringe, like watching an old Disney cartoon with stupid and lazy Black people, or a comedy show where the joke is about the boss fondling the vapid secretary.
Where the hell have you been for the last 40 years?
Clell65619 replied:
- Inner wife beater? I'm not sure I see that, the only time Harry has gotten physical with a woman who wasn't trying to do him damage was (1) with Orestes' cousin, who was about to have her way with him, and Harry, being a relatively normal 15 year old, wasn't about to just lay back and think of England and (2) with the Puff girl who wouldn't take no for an answer.
- For the record, in Distaff Side Harry has wondered more than once 'on camera' as it were, if this is how women were treated 'back home.' Have I made it a central theme of the piece? No, mostly because that's not the thrust of my story.
- Perhaps you should review this chapter again. Harry is extremely pissed that he got tricked into this multi marriage. Susan had NO choice in the matter (beyond prostituting herself), Millicent was exercising her Mercenary little heart with plans to get her hooks into the Potter fortune (which doesn't actually exist in story) and turn his butt over to Tommy and his boys. Romilda was over the moon for bagging her hero, and Marrietta was supremely pissed that her father had sold her to pay off a debt to the Potter Trust, and fully intends to make Harry pay for it.
- A script for a cheap porno? I wish. Have you any idea how much the writers in the porn industry make? Admittedly not much, but more than I did for any story I've ever written.
- If you are actually curious, I've spent the majority of the last 40 years punching holes in the ocean with submarines.
- I fully recognize that my work doesn't work for everyone, and somehow I still manage to carry on. Since you didn't like the stories, I'll see to it your ticket price is refunded...
Patches posted a comment on Wednesday 29th September 2010 4:10am
This is quite a story. A real turnaround with a great resolution to the "Dumbledore" problem. At least when Harry does die he will have a great smile on his face. Thank you for writing such a great story. pms
Jonez227 posted a comment on Friday 20th August 2010 1:14am
that was really weird. really really really weird. what a twist. stupid dumbledore. i wanna die from sex though. talk about being a legend
ladysavay posted a comment on Friday 13th August 2010 2:42am
I have to say this story ruined my otherwise really shitty day by making it even shittier than I could imaginae. I wanted to like it. I kept reading and hoping that some where along this story there would be found some kind of vindidcation, revenge, recomepense and I just kept getting more and more pissed off. My feeling is that is how you planned it. That is, after all the power of the author. Maybe you like being a dark lord if only in words, huh? I know, it's only a story and I should just get over it. I haven't. And any admiration I once had for you is now all gone. It was a really cheap shot to mess with your readers this way.
Clell65619 replied:
- That's a fairly strong reaction to a stupid little story don't you think?
- Yes, the story was plotted out before it was written, with the only variation in that I intended it to be a one shot and that grew into 3 chapters on me. Vindication, revenge, and recompense happen so very rarely in life I'm amazed that you would really expect it, especially when you consider that the story is told as a personal history and I prefaced each chapter with a view of the 'present day' where in Harry was most specifically NOT winning.
- No writer is ever anything so limp wristedly ineffectual as a 'Dark Lord', the writer of any tale is the All Knowing God of the universe (s)he has created wherein characters die at his/her whim, but can be reborn despite the anguished cries of the readers.
- Quite honestly, I have no idea why you would admire me in anyway, so the loss of that admiration doesn't really bother me. And as far as 'messing' with the readers, anyone who has read much of my stuff would know to look for dumbassed twists in the end. This particular twist may be more dumbassed than most, but really, was it all that much of a surprise?
- As with everything YMMV.
- Since you are so dissatisfied, I will of course be refunding the cost of your admission...
- Oh, wait...
Hawklan posted a comment on Thursday 6th May 2010 10:33am
wow...what a twist. DD being NF and he did all because he was bored. And then dying in a car accident? rofl........
goku90504 posted a comment on Wednesday 21st April 2010 11:49pm
i'd like to see an alternate ending where harry manages to prove dumbledork is the real dark lord and gets the stone for himself or something but cool as is!
Rekka posted a comment on Friday 9th April 2010 12:11pm
AWESOME! I can't believe I'm just NOW reading this.
Anthony May posted a comment on Monday 25th January 2010 1:35pm
Nice! What a great spin! Thank you for your story, it was very enjoyable. I am looking forward to the next story! also "Long Live Bun-Bun"
Mathew McCrillis posted a comment on Sunday 24th January 2010 2:41am
Glorious! I'm sorry I doubted you for even a moment! Keep writing when your hands aren't busy with other things.
gadriam posted a comment on Saturday 23rd January 2010 2:34pm
That was probably the oddest story I've ever truly and thoroughly enjoyed.
Thank you, and just to point it out, You do deserve a spot here among the best of the best.
g
joeBob posted a comment on Saturday 23rd January 2010 1:06am
Interesting Story, fun at times, too.
Also, you finished one!!! Moving to FFN might be a good thing. ;-)
It's disappointing, of course, that Dumbles/Flamel didn't die gruesomely by Harry's means.
Nice references to Ror's and nonjon stories.
Mmend15 posted a comment on Sunday 1st November 2015 6:42pm