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Harry Potter and the Hufflepuff Omniverse
Mistakes are made —or- What do you mean ‘Erased’?
By Clell65619
A/N: I own none of this. I do not own Harry Potter or any rights to his image or personality. I do not own the moon or the stars. I do not own human genders, other than my own personal original factory equipment. Honest. Nope, not me. I most certainly do not own the rights to a billion dollar literary work.
A/N2: Be forewarned, this fic remains particularly silly and should not be taken seriously. In this chapter the Hufflepuff Collective’s Dimensional Transfer Retrieval team returns to base with a dimensionally displaced Harry Potter and discovers that certain editorial changes have been made.
Harry Potter and It’s a Hufflepuff Omniverse
CHAPTER FOUR
Mistakes are made –or- What do you mean ‘Erased’?
Six figures began to materialize on the transport pads of Transfer Station Seven of the Hall of Loyalty. Sue Bones stood at parade rest waiting, like she always did for the return of one of her teams. Five people left, six were in the process of returning, all indications of a good mission.
Given whom the creator of the mission target reality was, Sue had made sure that one of the Collective’s Potter Analogues was standing by. A nice enough man from a universe without magic and without a ‘boy who lived’, this particular ‘Harry Potter’ worked as a research librarian in the logistics section. Bones paused for a moment to wonder why anyone could create a universe like that. It must have been a very short story.
The transport sequence was complete and the Shift Facilitator was relieved to see that all of her people had made it back, seemingly in one piece. But something was wrong: Draco seemed angrier than normal, and Neville seemed to be quite amused, even the new girl, Granger was staring at the Potter they had retrieved (just a kid, how had he managed a transport that young?) with undisguised loathing.
Something told Bones that this wasn’t going to be a quiet shift.
“Ok, THAT was seriously cool. Can we do it again?”
“In won’t be right away Harry, we’ll do it again when we return you to your home universe. There will be a bit of a wait until the runes recharge.” Hannah Abbott told him in her best ‘big sister’ voice. She looked up at the mission clock on the wall by the door. “About eight hours.”
The exchange she had just witnessed surprised Bones, Hannah didn’t like kids, hadn’t thought much of them when she was one. She was practically cuddling this one.
“That’s cool.” The boy hopped off the pad that he had shared with Neville Longbottom, who was still grinning far too much for Sue’s comfort. Whenever this particular Neville Longbottom was this amused, someone else was probably very unhappy. The rest of the team dismounted the pads and placed their gear onto charging stations. The Potter boy looked around the Transfer Station in wide eyed wonder, it was then he spotted Sue Bones. “Whoa! Hello Bonesy. You grew up nice!”
Sue was a bit surprised. No one had called her ‘Bonesy’ for years. “Hello Harry. Has the retrieval team explained that we aren’t the people you know?”
“Yeah, dimensional variances and all that, more or less the same people, just at least 10 years older. I’m cool. So, you guys are going to send me home? How about fitting me out with some of those cool guns so I can deal with Tommy?”
“We can’t do that Harry, we can’t introduce outside influences to an established reality.”
“Oh for Roddenberry’s sake, not the Prime Directive. Come on, that’s just a way for people lacking the balls to take risks to hide from doing the right thing.”
“Prime Directive?”
“That’s a term from a series of television shows popular in most realities.” The man standing next to Susan straightened his glasses and continued. “It was a show about the Captains and Crews of several starships and a space station. The Prime Directive prevented them from directly affecting cultures below a certain point of development based on the fear of what that influence might do to their normal development. It was pretty much a catch all plot device to either show how brave the Captain was to do the right thing despite the rules, or to allow the Captain to do nothing, secure in his moral superiority.”
“Yeah, what he said.” The boy looked up at her with puppy dog eyes. “Come on Bonesy, you know you want to…”
“Watch out for him, he’s a disgusting little perv.” Hermione Granger said bumping Harry as she passed.
“She only says that because it’s true.” Luna explained as she passed.
The rest of the team filed out of the room. Draco muttering ‘fucking Potter’ as he passed, and Neville chuckling. Hannah stood by to make her report.
“I’m sorry Harry, but I can’t arm you with weapons unknown to your universe.” Susan said as gently as she could.
“But I’m the Hero of the story, I need an edge!” Harry whined.
“While the hero of the story is indeed Harry Potter, that doesn’t mean that you are the hero.” The Research Librarian said. “After all, it could be me.”
Fourteen Year old Harry fixed his older dimensional counterpart with a stare. “You’re kidding me. You’re me?”
“In a manner of speaking.”
“So, how’d we do? Hot babe girlfriend?”
The older Harry looked at his younger self with disgust. “Hardly. I am focused on my career and don’t have time for…”
“Oh hell no!” The fourteen year old turned to Susan. “Please, I’m begging you, if it ever looks like I’d rather have a career than a girlfriend, kill me.”
“Granger would do it happily.” Hannah suggested helpfully.
--===ooo000ooo===---
Hannah led the fourteen year old Harry back to her retrieval team’s ready room. “Harry I need you to stay here so that I can make my after action reports, ok?”
“I guess.” The boy said eyeing Draco suspiciously. “He won’t try to kill me will he?”
“Draco won’t hurt you.” The Tall blond said with a smile.
“Are you sure? I mean bald guys are notorious for their unreasoning violent rages.”
“You little…”
“Draco!” The man went back to cleaning his weapons, mumbling under his breath about ‘fucking Potter’. “Why don’t you just hang out with Luna and Neville? I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make Draco any more angry than absolutely necessary.”
“I’ll be good.” He said with an innocent expression. Hannah, he saw, was buying his act. Good. He crossed the room to where Luna and Neville were lounging. “I’m supposed to stay with you guys.”
Neville looked up from his herbology magazine. “Good to have you here Mate… Are you planning on picking on Draco anymore today?”
“I guess not, unless he deserves it. It’s just when I see him I just remember what a dick he was.”
“Draco isn’t the young man who was abusive to you Harry.” Luna said. In fact he comes from a reality where you never existed, a reality where he was among the resistance to the Dark Lord Dumbledore.”
“Dark Lord Dumbledore?” Harry’s brow furrowed. “Yeah, I can see that, manipulative old Bastard.”
“There are several realities where Dumbledore is a Dark Lord and a few where you are as well.” Luna said. “Though you are the first Harry I’ve encountered who is a disgusting little perv...”
“I’m only fourteen, give me a chance. With enough time, I’ll grow up to be a disgusting big perv.”
Luna raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t let me finish, you are the only Harry Potter what I’ve discovered who is a disgusting little perv while still being a virgin.”
“Hey!” Harry protested.
“Don’t take it so badly Harry” The blond said while ignoring Neville’s chuckles. “Many women find that type of virtue to be attractive.”
Harry slumped in to his chair, mumbling to himself. “Don’t mistake lack of opportunity for virtue.” He missed Luna’s smile that plainly showed she heard his every word.
--===ooo000ooo===---
After only an hour of depressingly bored sighs and minor destruction in the ready room, Neville agreed to take Harry on a tour of the facility. Harry was surprised that Neville had given in so easily, he had expected to need to do his full three hour sigh fest to get his way. In one of the off watch recreation rooms Harry found himself entranced by a vivacious young woman of about 17 years. Dressed in little more than a very short miniskirt and a sports bra the young woman with the short black hair was a veritable whirlwind of activity causing her ‘assets’ to bounce in a manner that seemed hypnotic to Harry.
“Wow.”
Neville’s smile got wider than it had been all day. “Would you like to meet her Harry?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Well come on then.” The big blond man said. “Hey Minnie!”
The young woman spotted the mismatched pair and rushed over. “Aye Mr. Longbottom? How can I help ye?”
“Minnie, this is Harry Potter, he thought he recognized you.”
“Och, I know a Harry Potter, but he wasn’t you lad. He was a time traveling rogue who broke my puir heart when he left me to return to his own time.” The girl sighed wistfully then she looked him up and down. “Ye’d be an analog of my Harry I take it?”
Harry was far too busy watching her chest rise and fall with each breath to answer, so Neville came to his aid.
“He is Minnie. He’s almost done with his fourth year.”
“Och, it’ll be two years afore yer of any use to me lad.” Minnie reached out and lifted his eyes to meet hers with a single finger under his chin. “I might have to look you up then, to see if the skills and stamina of my Harry is common to all the Potter men.” The young woman leaned forward and kissed Harry on his forehead. “I’d best be getting back to my mates. An apprentice’s job is never done.” She skipped away from the Harry and Neville.
“Wow.” Harry said. “Screw going home. I want to go where she’s from.”
“Yeah, Minnie McGonagall is quite popular with most of the young men here.” Neville said.
“McGonagall?” Harry asked paling.
Neville nodded, stifling his laughter.
“You bastard. You let me stare a Professor McGonagall’s chest.”
“Yeah. I love my job.”
Harry shook his head. “Why would you do that? Was the Harry of your world a dick to you?”
“Merlin, no Harry. The Harry Potter I grew up with is my very best mate, has been since 6th year. Hell, he was the best man at my wedding. I let you drool all over Minnie because your reaction was funny.” Neville guided the boy out of the rec room and into the hall.
“Funny? Making me look like an ass is funny?”
Neville fought down the grin. “Is it funny when you abuse Draco?”
“Well, yeah, but he’s a dick.”
“No he’s…” A conflicted look passed over Neville’s face. “Ok, yeah he is. But he’s working with the rest of us toward a common good, which means that despite wanting to kill you slowly, he’d save your life if he had to. Probably.”
Harry nodded and kept walking down the hallway. “So, what your saying is I should lay off Draco?”
“Merlin’s Balls NO!” Neville put his hand on Harry shoulder. “Mate, you whaling on Draco like you’ve been doing has made my week. I’m just explaining that you aren’t exempt from being messed with.” Neville opened a door and guided Harry into the room. “This is one of the research labs. The Continuum is always working toward making thing easier for their insertion teams. You might like the Department head here.”
“Harry!” A woman’s voice cried out.
Harry tried to turn to face the woman who had called his name, but before he could he found himself swept into a bone crushing hug, with his face crushed into a massive bosom.
“Harry! You’ve come back! You’ve come back for me! You haven’t changed a bit, I’m missed you so much!” The woman babbled.
Air was rapidly becoming an issue. Who the hell was this? Trying to remove himself from the embrace, Harry managed to pull his head away from the woman’s chest, and caught sight of a wisp of red hair before he was once again pulled into the abyss between the woman’s breasts.
“Mrs. Weasley?” Harry gasped out.
“Harry? Don’t you recognize me?” The woman pushed Harry away from her body, but kept her hands on his shoulders. “It’s me… Ginny.”
“This isn’t your Harry Ms. Weasley.” Neville said, stepping between the horrified boy and the slightly psychotic woman. “Mr. Potter here is a dimensional traveler that we are returning to his home reality as soon as we can. He hasn’t finished his fourth year yet. He just knows Ginny Weasley as Ron’s little sister.”
“But… He and I we were…”
A tall ethereal blond approached and laid her hand on Ginny Weasley’s shoulder. “You know he isn’t your Harry Ginny. Go on back to your office. I need your report on the tracking Rune sets by the end of the week.”
The Weasley woman’s shoulders slumped. Then she nodded and turned away exiting the room through a doorway.
“What the hell was that about?” Harry asked, still wide eyed and almost on the edge of panic. “Why was Ron’s little sister like that?” He then looked up into the eyes of the blond and blinked in recognition. “Fleur?” This morning when he had seen Fleur Delacour she had been 17 years old; at least forty years had passed for the part Veela. If anything she was even more devastatingly beautiful, but the sudden aging was disconcerting.
“Yes Harry. It seems that we are fated to always be separated by age, but I would never again mistake you for a ‘Little boy’. How are you?”
Harry slumped into a chair at one of the work benches. “Very very confused. What was going on with Ginny? Why did she react like that?”
“Ah, my sister-in-law took the disappearance of the Harry of our reality very badly. She is brilliant with the Runes and the Arithmancy, but when it comes to you and your memory, she is still a young girl.”
“What? Why?”
“We haven’t explained much about what we do here Harry, nor what it has to do with you.” Neville said quietly.
“No, you haven’t and I suspect that I’m not going to like what you’re going to tell me am I?”
“In about a third of all monitored realities, you marry Ginny Weasley.” Fleur said.
All the blood drained from Harry’s face. “Really? Why?”
“Presumably because you loved her.” Fleur said gently.
“Don’t look at me.” Neville said grinning like a madman. “In my home reality you married Daphne Greengrass.”
“What? Daphne? Really?”
“Yeah… Well actually, it was more you kidnapped her from her betrothal ceremony before the Wizengamot, and bribed the Goblins into saying that you two were married, but yeah, you two had a quiet Muggle Civil ceremony after people quit paying attention to you.”
“Me and Daphne Greengrass? Wow.” Several perverted thoughts ran through his head.
“Calm down stud.” Neville nudged the boy. “She wasn’t interested until you had finished off Voldemort, filled out appropriately, started seventh year and turned down the Marriage Contract her father sent you.”
“What? That’s dumb, who came up with that?”
“The same creator that came up with you and your story kiddo.”
“In my reality you vanished the day after my wedding. That Pig Voldemort and all of his Death Eaters were found dead over the next month. Everyone knows that it was our realities Harry Potter who saved us all, but you were never seen again. My husband and I celebrate our anniversary and the next day we mourn your loss.”
“You said Ginny was your sister in law?”
“Yes.”
“Bill or Charlie?”
“Excuse me?” The platinum blond asked.
“Which Weasley did you marry? Bill or Charlie?”
“No, I would never marry either of those adrenaline junkies.” She put her hands on her hips, “Seriously Harry, could you see me exploring an Egyptian tomb or living on a Dragon preserve?”
“No, I guess not…” Harry’s eyes went wide. “Not Percy?”
“No, not Percy. Harry do you truly not know? You were the best man at my wedding.” She smiled. “My wedding to Ronald.”
“Ron.”
“Yes Harry.”
“Ron Weasley.”
“Yes Harry.”
“Ok, that makes perfect sense. Ron gets the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen to fall in love with him, and I get his little sister.”
Fleur took Harry on an extended tour of her research labs, demonstrating various objects and explaining others. Neither Fleur Weasley nor Neville Longbottom noticed when Harry swiped a prototype off one of the test benches and slipped it into a pocket.
--===ooo000ooo===---
Susan Bones met Hannah’s team as they assembled in front of the transport pads of Transfer Station Seven. Harry was still in Neville’s custody, and hadn’t caused anymore trouble. The young Gryffindor had decided that maintaining a low profile for the rest of his stay would probably be his best plan.
“I guess this is it then Harry.” Susan said. “The transfer Rune sets are fully charged, we can get you back home. Hannah and her team will get you back where you started, and make sure that you’re safely found. Then they’ll have to obliviate your memories of all this I’m afraid.”
“No way. I need to remember this, I found out some important things.”
“It’s necessary for the integrity of the Omniverse Harry, I’m sorry.”
“Shift Facilitator.” One of the transfer mages said. “There’s a problem.”
“What is it?” Susan asked approaching to examine the reading herself.
“The origin reality is gone.” The man looked up. It appears to be an Erasure.”
“An Erasure?” Harry asked. “What does that mean?”
“We’re checking Harry.” Susan said.
Fleur Weasley rushed in. “An Erasure?” Her elegant fingers started dancing over the Rune clusters. “Merde’! The entire reality is gone, all forks, all branches, even the reality where Harry was picked up from.”
“WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?” Harry shouted in an effort to get anyone to pay attention to him, and maybe answer his questions.
“It means,” Susan said. “That the creator of that bit of the Omniverse had scrapped the entire story line. It’s a full erasure.”
“But what does that mean?” Harry asked.
Neville knelt down next to the boy. “It means that everyone and everything you know is gone. For all intents and purposes none of it ever existed.”
“Damn.” Harry sat down. There weren’t all that many people that he had cared about back home, but to have all of them so utterly gone…
“What should we do?” Susan asked Fleur.
“We need to convene a meeting of the Department Heads” the French Witch said. “We’ve never had anyone from a deleted reality off plain before; no one has even considered it. There are no protocols in place for this situation.”
“What about the boy?”
Fleur Weasley looked over at the young man who was the image of the young man who had saved her sister’ life all those years ago. “I would recommend placing him in stasis until it can be decided what to do with him.”
“”Like Hell.” Harry said standing up. “Just put me in a different reality, any of them, I don’t care. I’m not going into storage like a box of clothing that doesn’t fit anyone anymore.”
“We can’t do that Harry,” Susan tried to explain. “Having you out of your proper reality for an extended period of time could corrupt the entire Omniverse.”
Harry recognized the signs. He was inconvenient again. They were going to store him away just like the Dursleys did in that damned cupboard, only this time it was for ever. His hand sought out the tool he had stolen from Fleur’s research labs.
“It’s a personal transporter Harry.” She had said when she had shown it to him. “It’s powered by the Wizard’s own magic. The only problem we’re having is the targeting; we haven’t found a way to have it take someone to a specified place.”
“But how do you get them back?”
“We have scrying crystals that can locate people within the realities, and then send a team to retrieve them. We think that these will end up being emergency egress tools for insertion teams, a way to get out of untenable situations.”
“That’s really interesting.” Harry lied. He had already decided to swipe the silly thing if he could, that way if Voldemort got to be too dangerous he had an emergency exit available. “How long does it take to locate your lost people with those scrying crystals?”
“Oh about an hour.” She had said in an offhanded manner before directing his attention to the next of her toys, a new way to resolve the primary ‘character’ of a reality.
Harry quietly pulled the small device from his pocket and smiled. The green light that surrounded the actuator was lit. That meant that the device was fully charged and ready to jump.
No one was paying any attention to Harry, he smiled as he pushed the button with his thumb and the universe disappeared around him.
--===ooo000ooo===---
Hogwarts
Gryffindor Heads Suite
Head Boy’s Bed Chamber:
May 24th 11:45 pm
Hermione had purposefully stayed away from Harry all day. She knew that he was looking for her, but she needed the space to think. The common room was empty; she stood at the door to his bedchamber.
She quietly entered and eased the door closed behind her. She could hear his deep rhythmic breathing and knew he was asleep. She removed her clothing as her eyes adjusted to the dim moon light. He lay on his back, his left arm over his eyes, quiet snores coming from his open mouth.
Naked she slid into the bed beside him, then pushed the blankets and sheet to the foot of the bed and straddled him.
“Hermione? What?”
“You listen to me you selfish ass. You have been teasing me with this damned ring for nine months now. Tomorrow you’re going to go off and do the stupid thing you do and probably get your self killed. You know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I love you…’
“Of course I do, I…”
“You shut the hell up. I’m not finished. I’ll tell you when you can talk again. I know you love me. The only thing that keeps us from being married is a fucking ceremony. FINE. I HERMIONE TAKE YOU HARRY TO BE MY HUSBAND DESPITE YOU BEING AN INSUFFERABLY NOBLE OLD FASHIONED FATHEAD WHO DOESN’T KNOW A GOOD THING WHEN SHE’S SITTING ON YOU. IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, FOR RICHER FOR POORER UNTIL DEATH DO US PART.” Hermione suddenly realized she was screaming. She needed to calm down.
She looked into his eyes, tears streaming. “Now you talk.”
“I Harry take you Hermione to be my wife despite the fact that I don’t deserve you in any way and never will. In sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer until death do us part.” He smiled that crooked smile that she loved so much. “Do I get to kiss the bride?”
“You get to make love to the bride, or I’m going to sit on top of you and cry all night Mr. Potter.”
He pulled her down for the kiss. But before their lips touched the room filled with a blinding electric blue light.
Blinking the spots from their eyes the two young lovers heard rather than saw that there was someone in the room with them.
“HA! It worked. Excellent.” There was a pause. “Hermione?”
The bushy haired woman’s eyes cleared enough to see… Harry? In his Triwizard uniform?
“Harry, buddy!” the younger Potter said. “Good on you mate. Hermione is fine now and she only gets better over the next decade at least.”
“Uh, ok.” The powerless Potter said, trying desperately to figure out what was going on.
“But stay the hell away from Ginny Weasley. I have seen the future and she is fucking huge! Trust me on this one.”
“Ok…” the man with no magic said.
“Ok, I’ve gotta run.” The younger Harry said reaching across the bed to slap Hermione on her bum. “Oh, if five people show up, people who look like older versions of your classmates, I was never here, ok?”
The pair of young lovers stared at the door that had closed behind the boy.
“Was that… me?”
“I… I think so.” Hermione said hesitantly. “Did you do any time traveling during the Triwizard?”
“I don’t think so. I was never like that… was I?”
“Not around me anyway.” She frowned for a moment chewing her lower lip. “It’s possible that that didn’t happen. It could be our pent up emotions.”
“The Goblins have a word for that Hermione, ‘Kreintostph’.”
“Wow. I need to learn more about Goblin culture, it would be interesting to learn their views on mental health.”
“Kreintostph roughly translates to ‘dragon crap’. It’s the goblin equivalent of ‘bullshit’.” Harry grinned up at her. “It occurs to me that I don’t really care about a younger version of myself running around the castle, no matter how much of a potty mouth he may be, and I won’t care as long as you’re in bed with me. We’ve got tonight, and tomorrow we might die. Come here.”
---===oooOOOooo===---
The hum woke the pair from the light doze that they had fallen into following their first bout of lovemaking. Another flash of electric blue light had them focusing on five armor clad figures. The shortest of those figures shined a light onto the bed that the pair shared. Harry wrapped an arm around Hermione in a protective gesture.
“Hermione Jean Granger!” the armored figure shrieked. “What do you think you’re going in that bed young lady?”
“Mum?”
“You had better be very glad I’m not your mother young lady! Oh my god, you’re naked.”
“Stand down Granger.” One of the others barked. She approached the bed coming into the light.
“Hannah?” Hermione asked.
“Look, this is too hard to explain, just trust me when I say we don’t mean any harm to you or your story. We are after Harry Potter.” The team leader noticed how the young man in the bed stiffened. “Oh, not you Harry, a younger Harry, about fourteen, in his Triwizard Uniform.”
“He went that way.” Harry said pointing at the door. We didn’t see which way he went, and frankly we didn’t care.”
“Good on you Harry” one of the other armor clad people said with a thumbs up gesture.
“Neville? What the hell is going on?”
“We don’t have the time to explain.” Hannah said. “Luna, start scrying for the boy. Everyone cloak and let’s go.”
Harry and Hermione watched open mouthed as the quintet shimmered into invisibility, and from the sound of things exited the room with the only sound being a muttered ‘Fucking Potter.’.
Hermione looked to Harry and clung to him tighter. “Why did that woman call me ‘Hermione Jean’?”
“I don’t know, seemed odd to me too.”
“I don’t know anyone with the middle name of ‘Jean’, I’m Hermione Jane.”
“I know. I think that we shouldn’t talk about any of this. It might get us locked up.”
“Yeah.” The Brunette agreed.
---===oooOOOooo===---
A/N2: What I see for the next couple of chapters is Harry jumping into other Fics for random periods of time while being chased by the Retrieval team… Probably a dumb idea, but there you go.