Inspected by No. 13
A Bureaucrat is Courted

By Clell65619

Previous A Bureaucrat is Born A Bureaucrat is Courted A Bureaucrat is Freed Next

Reactions in the stands toward Harry Potter assuming the role of Inspector 13 were many and varied.

Draco Malfoy was at first gleeful to think that his hated adversary would be forced to face the most horrifying of dragons. Then, startled by the power the Potter scion had somehow assumed, Draco wondered what all of this meant. Even his father spoke in frightened tones of the power of the Ministry Inspectors. And now, Potter was one. What did that mean?

Ron Weasley watched in terror as he realized just how wrong he had been about his friend, and that fear only grew when he saw what desperation had driven Harry to do. In the time he had known Harry, Ron was always surprise at how little his friend actually knew of the magical world. It was entirely possible that this ignorance had led directly to… this.

Severus Snape experienced a disturbing realization that the child he had been purposefully tormenting since he arrived at Hogwarts might have acquired the power to strike back in a way against which the Potions Master had no defense.

Barty Crouch Senior recognized the birth of a new Bureaucrat, one that might need the guidance of an experience hand. Once again, the man felt the pain of seeing another young man choosing the path his own son had rejected.

Barty Crouch Junior willed his stolen magical eye into magnification to allow closer examine of the Potter boy as the child cowed the massive she-dragon. Nothing in the boy's class work had suggested this sort of gambit. No, this was an out of character grab for power, and a vital power it was. In the deepest part of his mind, he found himself wondering if it was a power his Master could stand against.

Albus Dumbledore sat amidst the other judges and evaluated how this development might affect his plans for the future. Harry's entry into the tournament was obviously some sort of plot against the boy; Harry was, after all, far too interested in blending into his environment to have ever tried to stand out like this. The Potter heir was vital to his plans, and this unexpected development could easily derail those plans.

Meanwhile, in the Hufflepuff section of the stands, a young woman found her interest piqued. This development in the Potter heir was unexpected. Perhaps he was worth further investigation after all.

- 13 -

The stares had gotten to him, Harry admitted to himself as he tickled the pear on the painting. The door opened to reveal the Hogwarts kitchens. He just could not take another meal where everyone in the Great Hall stared at him, so he skipped dinner and hoped that the kitchen would offer a bit of refuge.

"Harry!" every elf in the kitchen chorused as he entered the room.

Potter blinked. That was odd; no elf had ever just used his given name before. It was always 'Harry Potter' or 'Young Master' whenever he could get an elf to calm down enough to actually speak with him.

Harry found himself mobbed by the tiny beings before one of the elves began shouting at his fellows.

"All right you lot," the elf, easily the most ancient Harry had ever seen, barked. "Clear off, give Harry some room."

The crowd of happy elves disbursed back to their jobs, smiling as they did so.

"Good to see you, Harry," the old elf said as he steered the boy to a table. "I'm Isaac, I run the elf side of the castle operations."

Harry noticed that he was gaping and made a concerted effort to stop. "Your speech…" he began.

"Noticed that did you?" Isaac laughed. "Isaac is sorry Harry Potter, Sir, Isaac will be cleaning now… That rot is for the bosses, because that's what they expect, Harry. Tippy noticed you weren't at dinner, are you hungry?"

"A bit, yeah," Harry agreed. Almost instantly, the table in front of him filled with food.

"Eat up, Harry," Isaac continued. "You won't be hearing that pidgin shite from us anymore, unless we're in public, as you've become one of us, the workers, one of those who keep everything running in the face of the insanity of the bosses. The Ministry Inspectors and the Elves have long worked together in pursuit of a better tomorrow."

Harry waited for three whole beats before his curiosity got the better of him. "It's an act? The whole happy slave routine is an act ?"

The old elf just offered an evil smirk in way of answer.

If nothing else, Harry reflected as he began his meal, putting on that badge had given him plenty to contemplate.

- 13 -

Mr. Potter:

First of all, welcome to the ranks of the Department of Magical Inspections. You have assumed a position that has been vacant for twenty-seven years, and as such, this notification is intended to bring you up to date with the latest processes of our venerable organization.

Well, Harry thought, that cleared that up. After a few weeks of various flavors of fan and hate mail, Harry had not been sure what to make of the package that arrived bearing the mark of the Department of Magical Inspections.

The hate mail had stopped as if someone had turned off a spigot. He was not sure if his facing the dragon that had made it stop, or if it was the badge that he decided to put on that day. Either way, it had stopped.

The fan mail on the other hand had skyrocketed. He had asked Isaac to find a place to stash the stuff until he had time to deal with it. Isaac had just laughed and asked him, "Bosses, eh? No problem Harry, we'll deal with it."

Harry still was not sure just how he felt about the jovial, snarky, smart arsed, elves. Still, they were good people.

Back to the letter.

In as much as your equipment has been dormant for twenty-seven years, you are due an update. Normally, this would be done during one of your visits to the Main Office in the fourth basement of the Ministry of Magic, but since such a visit is not something that you could easily do at this time, I have provided a remote upgrade for your use.

This is a one-time event, in the future; you will follow standard protocols.

To activate the process, load this letter onto your clipboard, lay your badge on top of the letter, press your wand into the number shield of your badge and wait until the page turns blue. Once the page is blue, then you have only to wait for the upgrade to process.

Our people in the Research and Development tell me the process will take approximately twenty minutes.

Once you have done this, this letter will have further information that you will need to continue in your duties.

Harry turned the page over and found it to be blank. They were serious; he had to perform the update to get any more information.

Well, nothing else for it, he decided as he clipped the page to the clipboard, placed his badge on top of it, and touched his wand to the badge.

And waited.

And waited.

Just as Harry was wondering if he had done something wrong, the page went blue and a musical chime sounded in unused classroom.

Now all he had to do was wait.

- 13 -

Another chime drew Harry's attention from his Charms homework to his clipboard…, which had changed.

Where before it had been a simple metal clip on a piece of wood was not a metal box with a clip on it, not terribly unlike the ones he had seen in the hands of various tradesmen that the Dursleys had employed from time to time. An obvious piano hinge was on the top, indicating how the box opened.

He retrieved his badge and the letter, which now had new text.

If you are reading this, then you have completed the upgrade of your equipment and are again wearing your badge.

This is a security feature of all interoffice memorandums from this department; none of our memorandums are readable without the wearing of a badge.

This would be normally covered in your orientation, but believe me when I say that no one wants to witness what happens when an unauthorized person attempts to wear an active badge. You were quite lucky that Badge 13 was deactivated when you put it on.

Your clipboard has been upgraded to the current state of the art. Open it now.

Harry reach for his newly modified clipboard. Finding a small latch at the bottom, he opened the box carefully, only slightly surprised to find that the quarter inch deep box held a full set of file folders. Someday he might get used to discovering magical expansion spaces in innocuous objects, but not today.

You will now find access to your personal files. Whenever you fill out a modern form, it will be in quadruplicate. The original is filed with our Department in the first folder labeled 'Ministry'. The first copy goes to your files; the remaining two copies go to the inspected party.

In the event you are in receipt of Departmental Documentation, you will file the third copy in your personal files, and the fourth with the Department.

You will also find your personal stamp in the clipboard. This is a new innovation since your badge went inactive. You will use it to certify the documents you handle. Among other things, it verifies your signature and certifies that the forms that bear them are valid.

Once you have the time, you will need to come into the Main Office for your real orientation. Among other things, the Audit Department wishes to meet with you about certain topics, and the Goblins of Gringotts wish to have a meeting with you as soon as possible.

Looking forward to actually meeting you Mr. Potter.

David Philpot

Section Manager

Department of Magical Inspections

Harry shook his head and sighed. The more he was exposed to what passed for the government of the magical world, the less sense it made. What sane organization would allow a boy his age to just assume the kind of administrative power he found himself with?

Obviously, the same kind of organization that would force a boy his age to compete in a tournament against a dragon.

Still, he had to wonder, what did the Goblins want?

- 13 -

"Excuse me, Harry?"

Harry looked up from his meal to find Ernie Macmillan standing in front of him.

"What can I do for you, Ernie?" He asked.

"Uh," the taller boy hesitated for a moment until he was elbowed by the tall brunette at his side, "Harry, I'd like to introduce you to my sister, Eddie."

Harry rose from his seat. There was something about this girl… Something that his newly found sense of bureaucracy seemed to recognize.

"Miss Macmillan," Harry said with a nod.

"Mr. Potter," she acknowledged with a nod of her own. "You may go Ernie."

Ernie seemed to disappear from the table, his relief evident to anyone who was paying attention.

"I was having breakfast, Miss Macmillan," Harry said, "Would you care to join me?"

"Yes, Mr. Potter," she nodded. "I believe I will."

The pair sat, still the only occupants of the Gryffindor table at this early hour. The young woman filled her plate.

"I am Edwina Macmillan, 6th year Hufflepuff. You did not enter in the tournament of your own free will?"

"I did not," Harry acknowledged, wondering where this conversation was going.

"I see," Eddie nodded as she dug into her eggs. "Do you have questions for me?"

"You seem awfully familiar," Harry said. "I mean I know I've seen you in the halls during school, but suddenly…"

"That is an aspect of our callings," she explained as she casually pulled back her robes to reveal her own badge of office pinned to her blouse. "Until you assumed your duties as Inspector 13, I was the youngest of our department, having assumed my father's position when he passed last year. Inspector 84, at your service."

"Ah," Harry nodded, "so, we can all recognize each other?"

"Yes," Eddie agreed. "I was the eldest of father's heirs, so with his passing the post was mine for the taking. Fortunately Ernie never wanted the position, so my acceptance of the position brought about no familial ill will."

"I have to admit that I had wondered how others got their positions within the department."

"Most are passed from generation to generation, though those who assumed a vacant position, either willingly or from ignorance are hardly unknown."

"I see," Harry nodded. "Should I assume my predecessor had no children?"

"An only child, who never married or fathered children," Eddie explained. "He was before my time, of course, but I grew up listening to stories of the legendary Inspector 13."

"Stories I will strive to live up to," Harry said quietly.

Eddie seemed to stare at him for several moments, before seemingly making up her mind. "I find you acceptable."

Harry blinked at that, not being sure how to respond, he decided to go with politeness. "Thank you."

"In accordance with published policies, and in consideration of the upcoming Yule Ball, I am submitting this," Eddie said, producing her own clipboard and removing a form, before sliding it across the table to Harry."

Harry picked up the form and read the title: Department of Magical Inspections form 2936-D; Intent to Instigate a Personal Relationship between Departmental Personnel.

Harry read through the document and after determining that it was correct in detail and form, he retrieved his own upgraded clipboard from his pocket, and signed approval on each of the pages in quadruplicate. He then used his new stamp to emboss and verify each of his signatures.

Obtaining a copy of Department of Magical Inspections form 2973-H; Tentative Acceptance of a Personal Relationship between Departmental Personnel from his files, he filled it out with Eddie's name badge number and current rank. He then pushed his form across the table to her, along with the first two copies of her original form, keeping two copies for himself.

Harry accepted the original and first copy of his form 2973-H, and filed the original along with the third copy of the form 2936-D with the ministry, and placed the remaining pages into his own files.

"I believe," Harry said thoughtfully, "that, pending approval, we have a date."

"We do," Eddie agreed. "I believe our official robes would be the most appropriate attire for the event. Since it is unlikely that you have a set, I propose we remedy that during the December Hogsmeade weekend."

"Agreed."

"Very good," she said rising to her feet, her meal finished. "I look forward to our shopping expedition and the Ball then."

Harry watched as the older girl exited from the Great Hall.

"You're up early," Hermione noted as she slid onto the bench next to him. "What did Eddie Macmillan want?"

"Good morning Hermione," Harry said as he put away his clipboard and set about finishing his breakfast. "She asked me to the Yule Ball."

"She did?" Hermione asked a tone of surprise in her voice. "What did you say?"

"I acknowledged of the request with a positive endorsement," Harry noted absently, reaching for the pumpkin juice. "Now we're just waiting for Managerial approval."

For once in her life, Hermione Granger had no idea how to respond to something.

- 13 -

The Ministry owl accepted the offered bacon and took wing, leaving Harry with his letter.

Opening the envelope, Harry scanned the page and smiled. Looking across the Great Hall to the Hufflepuff table, he caught Eddie Macmillan's eye as she looked up from her own letter and nodded, a gesture she returned with a small smile.

"Well," he said, "I've got a date."

"What?" Ron asked around a mouthful of eggs and toast.

"Disgusting is what it is," Hermione huffed. "Both Ron talking with his mouth full and the pair of you asking permission of the Ministry to go to the ball together."

"I keep telling you, Hermione," Harry sighed, "there are rules."

"Rules that you didn't agree to before becoming subject to them," she complained. "Honestly, Harry. What that Badge is doing to you is just as bad as what being forced into this contest is doing to you."

"How did you get a date?" Ron asked when he came up for air, before diving back into his breakfast.

"Eddie asked me," Harry explained. "Look Hermione, so far this badge and what it allows me to do has kept me from getting hurt or killed. That's a fair trade if you ask me."

"Eddie Macmillan?" Ron asked, shocked to his core. "She's hot! Why would a hot older woman be interested in you?"

"Common interests," Harry shrugged.

"Just because it allows you to go around the rules…"

"Hermione," Harry sighed again, "if not for my 'going around the rules', I would have been force to face that dragon with nothing but my wand. If I'd have summoned my broom like we planned, I would have died."

Hermione blushed, "I know, I can't believe I missed that."

"We both missed it Hermione," Harry pointed out. "If I hadn't looked at the tourist book Mr. Weasley got me at the last minute, it wouldn't have ended well. But everything worked out."

"Common interests?" Ron asked. "What common interests?"

"We both like Quidditch, treacle tarts and the Beano," Harry explained.

"The Beano?" Ron and Hermione chorused one in confusion, the other in surprise.

"What's the Beano?" Ron asked.

"A Muggle Comic book," Harry explained.

"Oh," Ron nodded wisely. "Keep hold of her Harry, a bird who likes comics is a rare find."

"And how are you going to survive the next task Harry?" Hermione soldiered on, trying to ignore Ron's sexism as well as Harry's Beano comment. "Have you even tried to figure out the egg yet?"

"Well, not as such," Harry admitted. "I was concentrating on surviving the Ball first."

"Does she have a friend?" Ron asked.

"What?" Harry asked, wondering what Ron was talking about.

"Your hot sixth year who recognizes great literature," Ron said. "Does she have a friend that I could go with?"

"I don't know," Harry hesitated, "I guess I could ask."

"She needs to be hot," Ron insisted. "I have a reputation to think about."

"And you desperately want to change it," Hermione thundered in a rage over the sexism of Ron's request.

Harry just closed his eyes and listened while Hermione to smack Ron, somewhat harder than usual.

- 13 -

"Sorry about stepping on your feet," Harry said as the pair made their way through the halls.

"I stepped on yours just as much, Harry," Eddie laughed. "When you add in that you didn't spill your drink on me like my last date, you're well into the 'I had a great time' category."

"I'll take that as a win then," Harry said laughing himself.

"You seemed surprised to see your little friend all dressed up," Eddie noted.

"Well, yeah," Harry admitted. "I mean, I'll be the first to admit that I don't know much about Wizarding fashions, but that thing Ron was wearing was horrible."

"It was the height of fashion about a hundred and fifty years ago," Eddie explained. "But I was referring to your other little friend."

"Hermione?" Harry asked, "Yeah, it was a bit surprising to see her all dressed up, I mean, she usually doesn't bother with that sort of thing." He paused for a moment before continuing, "You know, from everything I've ever heard about dating, I think that talking about another girl is a bad idea."

"Usually, but I brought her up, so you're ok," Eddie laughed.

The pair stopped in front of one of the many frosted windows to look out over the snow covered grounds.

"Home tomorrow for Christmas with the family," Eddie said, breaking the silence. "What do you have planned for the holiday?"

"Same as usual, staying here. My relatives and I don't really get along, so it's just easier to stay. On the first, I've got an appointment with Gringotts, something to do with the Department, though I'm not sure what it's about."

"That's odd," Eddie offered, "I don't recall ever hearing about inspections of Gringotts."

Harry shrugged. "Well, I guess I'll find out on the first."

The two resumed their stroll through the darkened castle. Before long, they had reached the entrance to the Hufflepuff dorms.

"Are you sure you had a good time?" Harry asked.

"Well," Eddie teased, making a great show of thinking about her answer, "I really could have done without Weasley rushing up and hugging you and making such a fuss."

"Percy's been like that since I put the badge on," Harry sighed. "I'm not sure what it's all about, but from him, I guess that's a kind of support."

"I had a wonderful time Harry," Eddie admitted. "I suspected that I would so I had this ready," from a pocket, she produced a roll of parchment.

Department of Magical Inspections form 9761-D; Intent to Indicate a Successful First Date with a Good Night Kiss;

Harry scanned the document and noted the qualifiers checked off in the body of the text:

On the Lips.

Closed Mouth.

No Tongue.

Harry looked into Eddie's eyes, as he fumbled for his clipboard. He signed in all the appropriate places, and stamped to verify his signatures, before returning the original and first copy to his date and filing his own copies.

Then she took his face in her hands, and kissed him.

During the kiss, Harry pondered if he should point out to Eddie that she had exceeded the parameters of her Notice of Intent.

- 13 -

"A Ministry Inspector?" a sibilant voice asked.

"That's what the Prophet says, My Lord," Peter Pettigrew simpered.

"How did Potter become a Ministry Inspector?" Voldemort demanded.

"The Paper doesn't say, My Lord," Peter explained, hoping to escape punishment for his ignorance. "He certainly wasn't one last year."

"Obviously, that has changed," Voldemort spat. "Go away, I must think about this!"

Pettigrew scampered away, leaving his master alone with his thoughts.

So long ago, the Department of Magical Inspections had been Voldemort's own goal, defaulting to becoming a Dark Lord only after he had fallen short. To hear that Potter has succeeded where Voldemort had failed was infuriating.

Against an opponent like a Ministry Inspector, he was going to have to be careful, so very careful.

Failure was not an option.

- 13 -

Harry entered the Bank and found himself greeted by a sudden hissing sound.

Looking around he noticed that every Goblin in the bank was starting at him.

There was no getting around it, Gringotts was weird.

"The Bank is closed," the Floor Walker called out as the tellers closed their windows in mid transaction and the guards began hustling banking customers from the building.

Just his luck, Harry reflected with a sigh, before turning to leave.

"Not you Potter," the Floor Walker said at his elbow. "This way to the Manager's office."

Harry followed the goblin through a maze of tunnels to a round wooden door set into the very stone of the tunnel. His escort knocked on the door in what Harry recognized as the 'Shave and a Haircut' rhythm and the door opened.

Where he found a single, apparently ancient goblin waiting for him. This goblin was covered in gold chains and jeweled rings on all of his fingers and toes, as well as an patch over his left eye that had a large emerald inlaid in the center.

Harry suddenly felt somewhat underdressed in his school robes.

"Potter," the goblin barked. "I'm Nagnok, Bank Manager."

"Of course you are," Harry agreed wondering what was going on.

The goblin blinked at the response, but carried on, "I'm a busy goblin Potter, how much?"

"How much for what?" Harry asked.

"Do you think we've forgotten?" the goblin demanded.

Harry recognized the feeling that coursed through him. It was the sudden realization that he did not have the slightest clue as to what was going on. This was a feeling that he was becoming quite used to. "Forgotten what?"

"We haven't forgotten that Inspector 13 is the official liaison between Gringotts and the Department of Magical Audits!" the goblin thundered.

"I am?" Harry asked.

It isn't going to work Potter," the goblin screamed, thrusting a handful of file folders into Harry's hands.

"What's this?" Harry asked.

"A complete listing of the Potter holdings," Nagnok said, calming himself. "You can see we're holding nothing back, and we're paying…" the goblin swallowed painfully, "interest to your accounts."

"Really?" Harry asked as he paged through the documents in his hands. "Cool."

"So, how much?"

"Well," Harry said, wanting nothing more than to go somewhere and find out what his family owned and see if there was anything remaining from his parents. Maybe it would be best if he just paid the goblins what they wanted. After all, the department was paying him to do pretty much what he wanted, he could afford it. "I haven't really thought about it… Why don't we start off at the old rates and we can see how that goes?"

Again Nagnok blinked. "The rates from 27 years ago?"

"Sure," Harry agreed. "Why not?"

A leather bag was thrust into Harry hands and he was hustled from the room, to the waiting Floor Walker who in turn escorted him from the bank.

It was only when Harry was standing in middle of the cobblestone street in front of the bank that he had a chance to look into the leather bag, to find it full of galleon coins.

"Wait," he said aloud to no one in particular, "they're paying me ?"

- 13 -

As soon as Potter was out of the office and the door sealed with the dreaded Inspector 13 on the other side, the goblin who called himself Nagnok threw himself to the floor in a position of supplication.

The stone wall in the rear of the office slid to the side and the true Nagnok stepped into his office flanked by his advisors and guards.

"He knew," the One True Bank Manager rumbled. "He knew you were a fake as soon as you identified yourself."

"I know, Bank Manager, I know," kneeling goblin said piteously. I have no idea how he saw through my disguise, but he did."

"Our monitors observed from every angle," the advisor to Nagnok's left noted. "If there was a mistake on Kleplep's part, none of us could see it."

"There is obviously a reason the Ministry has placed the Potter heir as Inspector 13," Nagnok said thoughtfully.

"He actually accepted the tribute at the rates of 27 years ago?" the advisor to Nagnok's right asked.

"He did," Kleplep answered.

"We aren't falling for that," Nagnok pronounced. "Double… No, triple the tribute next week. Bagman has been betting that the Potter heir will win their interschool competition has he not?"

"He has Bank Manager," Kleplep agreed from his place on the stone floor.

"Find a reason to cancel his bets, pay a penalty if you have to, but I don't want any Gringotts carrying any markers going against Inspector 13."

"It shall be done," the assembled goblins chorused.

- 13 -

Harry settled down onto the floor, his back against the wall. Everyone was due back the next day, and classes began the day after. He had put off figuring out the clue in the Golden Egg long enough. It was time to get serious with the stupid thing.

At some level, he knew he needed a large dose of luck, so where better to puzzle out this problem than the classroom where he had received one of his first hints in his first adventure in Hogwarts? He sat precisely where the Mirror of Erised had been that first time, holding the Egg in his lap.

Being here might not help, Harry realized, but it certainly would not hurt.

He took a deep breath and steeled his resolve. The egg was going to be loud enough to hurt in this enclosed space.

He opened the Golden Egg and despite all his preparation, he was still startled by the garbled shrieks that issued from the magical artifact. His left arm jerked away from the Egg, the sleeve of his jumper catching on his badge, pulling it from his chest.

Harry cursed under his breath as he groped for his badge in the semidarkness of the unused classroom, his hand closing around it, and oddly he felt the Departmental symbol in the center of the face depress with a click.

Coinciding with that more felt than heard click, the shrieking was stopped and a song filled the air;

An hour long you'll have to look,

And to recover …

In his surprise, his hand tightened on the badge and he felt the click yet again, and the shrieking returned.

Harry sat in amazement, looking between the badge in his hand and the Egg in his lap. The badge had a translator built into it? He clicked it again.

It won't come back.

Well, that wasn't ominous at all was it? He waited for the song to recycle, as it seemed to be on a loop. After a short pause, his wait was rewarded.

Come seek us where our voices sound,

We cannot sing above the ground,

And while you're searching ponder this;

We've taken what you'll sorely miss,

An hour long you'll have to look,

And to recover what we took,

But past an hour, the prospect's black,

Too late, it's gone, it won't come back.

Harry listened to the entire song three more times until he was satisfied that he understood what it was saying.

Something was going to be taken from him, and hidden, he would then have an hour to find it, and if he didn't it was gone for good.

Fair enough.

Voices that could not be heard above the ground… Tunnels like the Goblins used?

No, that was stupid. Goblins likely spoke their own language among themselves, but they could clearly be heard 'above the ground'.

What could be 'below the ground', but not under the ground?

Under… under… Under water?

Harry snapped the Golden Egg closed, and slowly began hitting his head against the stone way behind him. Under water. Of course it would be under water. He could fly, he could run, the dark never bothered him, neither had enclosed spaces.

It had to be under water, which just went to show that the old Potter luck running on full power.

He couldn't swim… and there was nowhere and no time to learn before the 2nd task. Of course the 2nd task would be underwater. In Scotland. In February.

- 13 -

Harry arrived at the lake to find the crowds already forming.

He waved to Ron and Neville as he passed the stands, responding to the thumbs up each of them offered. It was good to see the pair of them, though it was odd that Hermione was not with them.

That is when it occurred to him that he had not seen his bushy haired friend since dinner the night before. That was very odd… Then he realized he had not seen Eddie since dinner either.

What was going on?

He climbed the stairs to the dock, unsurprised to find Cedric waiting clad in a robe.

"Morning Harry," the affable Hufflepuff called. "Ready for the task? You don't seem to be dressed for the event."

"Morning Cedric," Harry responded. "Well, considering I can't swim, I didn't see the point in dressing for it. I'm just hoping whatever they took isn't something I can't live without."

"Solved the Egg puzzle did you?" Cedric laughed. "I've been wondering what they took as well. I didn't find anything missing… Well, other than Cho."

"Cho is missing?" Harry asked, suddenly alarmed for some reason he could not quite put his finger on.

"Well, not missing," Cedric amended. "She just missed breakfast, we usually eat together, and it's not like her not to come by before a task and wish me luck."

Pieces started to fall together in Harry's mind. Cedric had gone to the Yule Ball with Cho, she wasn't to be found… He had gone with Eddie, and she was missing, Hermione had gone with Krum, and she was missing… his eyes sought out the stands and relief flooded through him. There in the front row of the Ravenclaw section was Roger Davies, Fleur's date.

Viktor Krum appeared in a robe, "Good morning," he called as he approached the Hogwarts pair. "We are ready for a swim, yes?"

"Well, I am," Cedric laughed. "Poor Harry here doesn't swim. I guess that means he's out of luck this time."

"You cannot swim?" Viktor asked incredulously.

"Never learned," Harry shrugged. "Cedric and I were just talking, his girlfriend Cho hasn't come by this morning, and I haven't seen my friend Eddie…" Harry was still trying to decide if there was something going on there. "By any chance have you seen Hermione today?"

Realization spread across the faces of the other two competitors.

"Do you think the egg meant 'who' we'd sorely miss?" Cedric asked as his eyes scanned the audience.

"They would not dare," Viktor rumbled as he stared daggers at the Judge's in the reviewing stand.

"Maybe they didn't," Harry suggested. "I mean, our dates for the Yule Ball may not be here, but Roger Davies is right there in the stands."

An obviously distraught Fleur Delacour joined the trio of males, her eyes red from crying.

"What is wrong?" Viktor asked his anger from a moment before forgotten.

"My sister," Fleur whispered, "Gabrielle, is missing. We searched the carriage, and even the castle, but we cannot find her."

"Those bastards," Cedric said, duplicating Viktor's glare at the Judges.

"What is it?" Fleur asked.

"They have not taken something from us," Viktor growled. "They have taken someone from each of us."

Harry's mind raced. This had to be illegal. Risking the competitors, even one forced to compete, like he was, would one thing. Bringing innocents into this stupid game was beyond the pale. He reached into his pocket and obtained his clipboard. Opening it, Harry began to page through the files.

There. He pulled three copies of one form and one of another form and began to fill them out.

- 13 -

"This cannot stand," Viktor said, "we will protest, we will have this contest canceled."

"Yes," Cedric agreed. "I don't care what happens to me, they can't…"

"I've got an idea," Harry said as he handed each of the competitors a knut. "Ok, I want you to give those to me."

Puzzled the three older students did what he asked.

"Oh, dear," Harry said more for effect than anything else. "You all appear to be bribing an Inspector of the Department of Magical Inspections. Fortunately, we have the proper documentation for such an unlikely event. If each of you would please sign in the appropriate places?"

Cedric looked over the form and a smile crossed his lips. He had seen enough Ministry paperwork to recognize an official scam when he saw one. The Hufflepuff signed the offered form and encouraged his fellows to do the same.

This should be good.

- 13 -

Ludo Bagman approached the four competitors, utterly oblivious to the anger rolling off the quartet. He carefully positioned each of the students along the dock, spacing them at intervals of ten feet. Harry was on the very end of the line, next to Viktor, who was now holding his wand at the ready.

"All right, Harry?" Bagman whispered as he moved Harry to his position. "Know what you're going to do?"

"Oh, Yeah," Harry nodded. "I know exactly what I'm going to do."

Bagman returned Harry's nod and returned to the judges' table; he pointed his wand at his throat and said, "Sonorus!" and his voice boomed out across the dark water toward the stands.

"Well, all our champions are ready for the second task, which will start on my whistle. They have precisely one hour to recover the treasure that has been taken from them. On the count of three, then. One… two… three!"

Fleur, Viktor and Cedric all stepped back from the dock and waited, while Harry removed his badge from his shirt and knelt down to touch it to the water.

An ear shattering " BAWAAA! " sounded from the lake.

"Bloody hell," Cedric muttered, "and I thought that the egg was loud."

Harry stood up, fastened his badge back on his shirt, and waited.

But not for long, the scaled head of a Merman appeared.

"Good morning," Harry said tapping his badge to activate the translation charm. "Ministry spot inspection. I have been informed that you are holding prisoners in your village."

The Merman responded with sounds familiar to anyone who had heard one of the Golden Eggs opened.

"I see," Harry nodded. "You're claiming that they aren't prisoners, but hostages. Fine, I suppose the real question is, are you zoned for keeping 'hostages'? My records show your zoning allows residential structures, a school, and a municipal building and nothing more."

The Mercreature responded with a mournful sound.

"Well," Harry said, checking the forms on his clipboard, "I show the fine to be five hundred Galleons for each zoning violation."

A throaty squawk came in response.

"I'm not sure about the exact conversion, but I believe it's roughly two hundred mackerel per Galleon."

The air was pierced by a horrific screech.

"Well, don't forget, that's per violation. You have four violations down there; let's call it four hundred thousand mackerel."

The merman let forth with a strangled screech, which muted after a few seconds before taking on a beseeching tone.

"Well, I'll tell you what, I don't want the bother of going all the way into London to file my report. Since this is a first offense, if you were to bring the hostages up to us now, I might see my way to forgetting this ever happened."

The Mercreature's head disappeared beneath the water.

Harry turned to his fellow Champions, "well, negotiations appear to be going well."

"Did it work?" Fleur gasped.

Before Harry could answer, three young women and one small girl washed up onto the dock at their feet.

Viktor knelt down with Hermione, and Cedric with Cho.

"Yeah," Harry nodded as he helped Eddie to her feet, while casting warming charms on everyone in the area. "I think it worked out pretty well."

He turned to Ludo Bagman, "Well, would you look at that, a four way draw."

- 13 -

Deep within the subbasements of the Ministry of Magic, David Philpot wove his way through the maze of corridors that made up his departmental spaces in a manner only made possible by decades of experience. Reaching his Supervisor's open door, he tapped his knuckles on the doorframe as he passed through it.

"What do you have for me today David?" Michael Millbanks asked.

"I've come to apologize for all the whinging I did when you assigned me to the new 13 as his case officer," David said as he sank uninvited into Millbanks' guest chair. "I thought hand-holding the rookie for a decade or two would be boring, but this lad is nothing but entertaining."

"What's he done now?" Millbanks asked.

"That stupid Triwizard nonsense he ended up in had a second task where they stuck hostages underneath the Black Lake in the Mercreature village."

"How could the badge help him with that?"

"That's the second best part, he threatened the Mercreature village with zoning violations for holding prisoners," Philpot laughed. "But he waived the fine when they produced the hostages, all four of them."

"So he won the task on zoning violations?" Millbanks asked, joining in on the laughter.

"Oh, no," Philpot shook his head, "he was the only one of the competitors not in swimwear, so he loaned each of them a knut, and then had them bribe him to intervene. He forwarded the traditional 33 percent of his bribe to the office for the Christmas Party." The laughing man held up the single bronze coin. "We're swimming in it now. With the four way draw for the Second Task, he remains solidly in first place."

"We'll have to have a word with him about the minimum bribe amount he should agree to," Millbanks laughed. "We have standards to uphold, after all. A knut doesn't go as far as it used to."

"Oh, he more than made up for it in fines," Philpot disagreed.

"Fines?"

"Oh, yes. 100 Galleons for each of the hostages charged to the Triwizard organizing committee for 'Conscription of Non-Participants without filing form 1692-K' with the Ministry," the man smirked.

1692-K? Don't know that one," Millbanks said as he thumbed through his files to find the correct form. " Department of Magical Inspections form 1692-K; Application to Hold Passerbys, Onlookers, Spectators and Witnesses Incommunicado for purposes other than Ransom' "

Millbanks looked up blinking. "Oh, my. This kid is good."

"You don't know the half of it," Philpot gasped, his laughter even harder at the sight of his boss' reaction. "He also fined the Organizing committee 20 Galleons for falsely advertising the second task as a 'spectator event'."

"Well, 20 Galleons is 20 Galleons, but that's not all that impressive next to the 400 Galleons his first fine," Millbanks noticed.

"That was 20 Galleons per spectator," Philpot laughed. "Between students, staff, press and dignitaries, the attendance was listed as 1011. He said that even if the task had gone as planned and all four of the Champions had gone into the lake after their hostages, the spectators would have been stuck watching the surface of the lake for an hour, in February, in freezing temperatures, and that attendance of the school students was mandatory."

Bloody hell," Millbanks breathed. "20,000 Galleons?"

"Yep," Philpot nodded. "And that was before Inspector 84 got involved."

"There's more?!" Millbanks exclaimed in shock. "You did say they had started dating. What did she do?"

"Indeed there is." Philpot confirmed while he grinned like the proverbial cat that ate the canary. "She fined them 5 Galleons per spectator for public safety violations- The available facilities were too far away and insufficient for a crowd that size. There was an additional fine of 7 Galleons per spectator for insufficient climate control; 3 people had to be treated for hypothermia and another 2 for frostbite."

"Blood hell." Millbanks snapped. "There's no way those stands were up to code if that happened!"

Philpot nodded. "Which brings me to the next bit, Inspectors 13 and 84 then filed a joint inspection fining the Organizing Committee 15 Galleons per spectator plus an additional flat 2,000 galleon fine for failing to file the proper building permits for a temporary structure."

Millbanks raised a speculative eyebrow. "And that's in addition to the previous 20,000 Galleons?"

Phillpot laughed. "Their total fine came to 49,517 Galleons and 5 knuts."

"What were the 5 knuts for?" Millbanks wondered aloud.

Phillpot snickered. "Inspector 84 charged them for the ink, quills and parchment used to write the citations. Yep, you'd best be careful boss, if these kids keep this up, we'll end up working for them."

- 13 -

 

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