Deluded Musings

A Mother's Love

2019-05-07T18:32:19+00:00

Canon tells us about the unspecified 'protections' Lily Potter laid upon her son. What if she had done more than that?

Harry Potter and the Invincible Technomage

2018-09-02T15:31:00+00:00

5 year old Harry accompanies the Dursleys on a Business trip to Stark International, where an industrial accident kills all of Harry's living relatives. A very different Harry goes to Hogwarts.

Legion

2017-07-09T17:11:12+00:00

In the 31st Century, Mordru has won. The United Planets is in collapse, EarthGov destroyed, and the Legion decimated and scattered. The Surviving Legionaries decide their only feasible way of fighting back would be to recruit a legendary Magic User. After much debate, they settle on Harry Potter... who turns out to be a bit different than his legend would suggest.

It Just Tastes Better

2017-03-07T22:42:42+00:00

Voldemort has won, and having won wants to put on a show. He's heard rumors of Harry's new abilities, and wants to prove to the world that those abilities will not help the boy at all.

Harry Potter and the Distaff Side

2016-06-07T16:39:57+00:00

- A common fan fiction meme is the 'Girl Harry' story. Some of those are really good, but most seem to be little more than an attempt to have non-canon pairings without having to deal with slash hatred. I'd read stories where Harry was sent to a world where he had a female counterpart, stories where the female Harry came to Harry's world and various combinations of that theme, many of which seem to focus on the 'Really Advanced Masterbation' possibilities of Harry and his female counterpart making the Beast with two backs.

- Now my basic belief that anything worth doing is worth overdoing came to play... What about Harry ending up in a world where almost Everyone's gender is flipped?

The World of Tomorrow

2016-02-02T19:23:58+00:00

During the disaster in the Ministry of Magic, Harry ended up in a battle in the Time Room... and vanished. Lacking their leader, Harry's friends took the war into their own hands, and things changed.

Leaving the Nest

2015-10-08T12:58:11+00:00

At some point in the 5 year time jump between Seasons 1 and 2 of Young Justice 5 year time jump, 18 year old Dick Grayson took on Nightwing identity, with 15 year old Tim Drake as a new 3rd Robin, unsure of himself. The cancellation of the show means we are unlikely to be told just how this happened. This is a fan's attempt to fill in the blanks.

Bedroom Eyes

2015-08-16T17:27:50+00:00

Hermione returns home after a hard day at work to find Ron has a surprise for her.

He

2015-08-02T08:46:15+00:00

After the fall of Voldemort, Hermione has retrieved her parents from down under and is trying her best to help them reclaim their lives.

In doing so, she makes a disturbing discovery.

Little Guy

2015-07-10T21:56:46+00:00

What if Lily Potter had put some thought in their situation? After all, she knew that Portkeys would be disrupted, that the Floo could be blocked, what if she had put some effort in finding an emergency back door?

What if Harry ended up somewhere... odd?

Dead Dark Lord

2014-11-28T16:41:28+00:00

Lucius Malfoy has made a purchase, and he's unhappy

Run, Harry, Run.

2014-11-25T17:02:16+00:00

Trapped in the Little Hangton Graveyard, Harry looks to the lessons he learned while in his cupboard to survive.

Peril

2014-11-05T21:31:44+00:00

Harry is serching for an artifact of power. Rumor has it that Hufflepuff House is the guardian of the legendary Talisman of Virtue, so Harry reached out to his friends. But what will the cost be to retrieve the power?

A bit of Potterized Python silliness

Inspected by No. 13

2014-08-20T22:03:43+00:00

The night before the first task, Harry discovers that his plan to out fly the dragon is doomed to failure. With no other choice, he makes a desperate play that actually works.

Sometimes, escaping can be a trap of it's own.

Speed

2014-07-11T22:50:23+00:00

It's been said that little things can change the world, and they can. But then, so can big things. This is the story of the big things that happen when Ron Weasley meets his mother's cousin, the Accountant they don't talk about. Ron learned that there is more to life than magic. Sometimes a skill gained by accident is all you really need to change the world.

Clara's Discount Curses

2014-03-24T19:59:36+00:00

Sometimes, a man needs to be cursed.

Improbable History

2014-02-21T17:35:55+00:00

Six and a half year old Harry Potter isn't happy at his home, then he meets a pair of strangers on the street. One is leaving to begin life on his own, and the other is looking to start over. Following the instructions given to him by his Uncle, Harry finds adventure such as he had never imagined.

Mad Dog

2014-02-07T21:27:03+00:00

Voldemort has won, but Tonks has a crazy plan. So crazy, it might just work.

The Prodigal Daughter

2014-01-31T21:54:17+00:00

Meet Hermione's daughter, a most angry young woman.

Fruit Ninja

2013-12-01T01:54:44+00:00

A classic Monty Python sketch, Potterized.

Maiden Quest

2013-11-19T18:54:50+00:00

In a world of swordsmen and wizards, a humble dragon seeks a prize beyond price. But those he needs to complete his own quest are themselves searching for an evil Mage. The things a Dragon has to do to find and defeat the most vicious of beasts, the fabled Maiden.

Neutered

2013-10-21T08:28:57+00:00

A somewhat different encounter at the Department of Mysteries results in a somewhat different Neville Longbottom... and a somewhat different Voldemort.

Harry Potter and the Elder Sect

2013-10-10T11:55:24+00:00

When Hagrid arrives at the Potter cottage in Godric's Hollow, he finds no sign of Harry Potter. It takes five long years for Harry to be found, in the care of a distant cousin, having been dropped off by his Great Grand Mother.

Intervention

2013-08-28T22:31:23+00:00

Harry Potter was programmed to die. Sometimes things don't go as planned. A crossover with DC Comic's Deadman

Forbidden!

2013-06-17T21:17:09+00:00

Ron learns a lesson about watching what he says to Hermione

A Matter of Perspective

2013-06-01T23:14:15+00:00

One of the Magical World's most powerful creations is the Mirror of Erised. But that isn't the only magical mirror in the world.

The Meeting

2013-04-27T19:12:33+00:00

In canon's epilogue, Harry and Draco Malfoy shared a nod across a crowded Platform 9 3/4s. Ever wonder why?

While not really a villian in the books, Draco was most certainly an ass, but then asses grow up sometimes.

A Fate Worse than Death

2013-04-26T07:31:02+00:00

Harry Potter: The only person to survive the Killing Curse... ever wonder why?

Dodgers, Dresses, Teddy bears, and Spot.

2013-03-25T20:10:34+00:00

Sometimes, an average family has secrets. The residents of 1313 Mockingbird Lane have more secrets than most. Perhaps their biggest secret is how family comes first and foremost. Once he turns 11, young Harry Munster is offered a place at the Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, but he isn't interested, for four reasons. Dodgers, Dresses, Teddy bears, and Spot.

Hiding in Plain Sight

2013-01-23T12:35:20+00:00

The summer prior to 6th year Harry deals with Tom in a decisive, if accidental manner. That summer Harry gets a girl friend in Susan Bones, and sets about some self improvement. It is after this change to himself he discovers something a bit disturbing about the Wizarding World, something that Hermione Granger is determined to use to her advantage.

What Wizards Want

2013-01-13T19:29:22+00:00

When making his first Horcurx, Voldemort makes a different decision, one that no longer threatens Ginny in her first year, but rather Ron could be his victim.

Equivalent Exchange

2013-01-13T19:11:17+00:00

After the night in the ministry, Voldemort tries possession again

The boy who cried 'Dragon'

2012-06-08T14:49:52+00:00

- Harry told people what he had seen in the Forbidden Forest, and they laughed. You should never laugh at Harry Potter.

- This story is presented with heart found apologies to Jack Douglas. If you can find it, read his immortal "My Brother was an only child"

Harry Potter and the Sun Source

2012-05-03T15:53:35+00:00

This is an extremely AU crossover fic that asks the question what might have happened if Petunia Dursley hadn’t found a young Harry Potter sleeping on her doorstep on the morning of the 2nd of November 1981. After all, Dumbledore was a bit careless with the Savior of the Wizarding World that cold November night. This is a cross with Warren Murphy and Richard Sapir's The Destroyer series.

Luna Lovegood and the Doctor's Cult

2012-01-13T21:22:15+00:00

It is Luna's 6th year, and life is looking up. Voldemort is done, Harry took care of him in some spectacular but unspecified way, and Luna has decided that perhaps this would be the year to get a certain dark haired bespectacled boy friend... But something odd is going on...

Triwizard Tales

2012-01-13T21:01:13+00:00

- At 14 years old, Harry wasn't really ready for the Triwizard. If not for Hermione and Barty Crouch Jr, the poor boy would likely have done himself a whole lot of damage if left to his own devices... Of course, if not for Crouch he wouldn't have been IN the trouney, but that's another story. So, I asked myself what if things had gone a bit differently? What if his broom hadn't shown up? What if other... opportunities presented themselves?

Lily Got Her Gun

2011-12-09T09:43:53+00:00

- The Potters were unarmed that Halloween night in '81... Why?

Exit: Stage Left

2011-11-28T19:42:28+00:00

This story was inspired by another story, specifically http://www.tthfanfic.org/Story-26452/Manchester+Like+Hell+He+Will.htm. It's a lot of fun, a deconstruction of the Harry gets a harem and none of the guys complain about it meme. But it inspired this one from me. The ending of 'Like Hell He Will' cracked me up, but then I couldn't get this idea out of my head. It's a similar set up, a prophecy offered that says Voldemort is toast and Harry will be getting all the women... but in this one Harry hears the prediction and realizes what it will mean...

A Chance Meeting

2011-08-14T16:47:26+00:00

After the fall of Voldemort, the Survivors try and deal with the lives they find.

Harry Potter and the Freak

2011-08-07T18:46:57+00:00

It was a normal, dismal 16th birthday for Harry Potter. Isolated from his friends, abused by his relatives, kept in the dark and fed excement by Dumbledore, he didn't really think life could be any worse. Then just before a Death Eater attack at the park near Privet Drive Harry meets a stranger.

Very AU.

Harry Potter and the Sandy Crack Shack

2011-08-04T17:48:20+00:00

- Seven years after the fall of Voldemort George and Angelina Weasley are on their honeymoon. On a dare George takes his new bride to a special beach, and there they meet someone from their past.

Harry Potter and the Hufflepuff Omniverse

2011-05-05T08:23:15+00:00

What happens when Fan Fiction stories collide?

Road Trip

2010-12-13T13:06:30+00:00

After the fall of Voldemort Harry feels that he needs to get away, away from the pressures of being the Man Who Won. Hermione invites herself along for the ride, but things aren't always what they seem. Fighting a war has it's price.

A Ghost Story

2010-10-13T09:19:56+00:00

Unlike most of my work on this site, this is a piece of original fiction. This was inspired by the NPR "Three Minute Fiction" contest which asked for short stories of a specific type that need to be able to be read in Three minutes… or about 600 words.

It turns out that I couldn’t tell this story in three minutes or 600 words. So I figured that if it wasn’t good enough for the contest, maybe some of you might like it. So, again, this is NOT fanfiction and it is indeed, mine, all mine. For all the good that will do anyone.

The Board

2010-09-15T15:51:23+00:00

Like many of my stories, this grew out of a discussion on the Caer Azkaban newsgroup. The discussion in question theorized that Filius Flitwick might well have been a more â€˜hands on’ Deputy Head than Minerva had been, and that she might be surprised by it. This discussion mutated as internet discussions are wont to do and before long the failures and limitations of the staff became the focus of the thread. Then I went out for my most hated weekly chore, that being mowing the lawn.

- The summer heat in my part of Missouri peaks normally peaks in the high 90s with 100 percent humidity, pushing the â€˜feels like’ temperatures into the 105 degree heat range. While trudging up and down endless rows of much hated grass, wondering not for the first time why my damned kids weren’t the ones doing this since they live in the house I pay for rent free, the discussion about the Deputy Head rolled over and over in my head and this is the result.

- I blame heat stroke.

Technomagical Ideas

2010-06-11T19:28:38+00:00

A/N: This is a collection of minor scenes from my Invincible Technomage fic. Some of them may end up being part of the main story, but others won't.

The Conversation

2010-03-22T14:22:27+00:00

Harry and Tom Riddle sit down to discuss a few things.

Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts

2010-03-20T01:06:54+00:00

The war is over. The side of the Light has won. Voldemort is well and truly dead. This is a short story of the aftermath when Harry Potter is attempting his first few steps toward independence. Everything in his life so far was focused toward the war. Now that the war is over, Harry is, for the first time focusing on himself.

- This is the same story posted on FF.Net, with the chapters fused to from 12-15 k word chapters and adding some rewriting to fix mistakes and make changes to fix some aspects of the story that didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped.

Harry Potter and the Clockwork Leap

2010-03-10T10:48:15+00:00

A conceptual fusion of Harry Potter and the concepts behind the Quantum Leap television show.

The Worst Sort of Muggles

2010-03-04T16:52:11+00:00

On the Caer Azkaban news group kafkaexmachina posed a challenge, to wit:

"I've done Satanist!Dursley, but now I want to see what you all can come up with. The challenge is to come up with even WORSE varieties of the Dursleys. Post a snippet involving Harry at the doorstep, and any bits that you see following after."

What followed was snippets with Harry raised by Krishnas, by followers of Cluthu, Klansmen, and Hannibal Lector among others. I laugh at those pale imitations of bad human beings. The following is my suggestion for…

The Very Worst Sort of Muggles

Harry Potter and the Pampered Feline

2010-03-03T15:44:56+00:00

Third year was the year that Hermione got her beloved Crookshanks... but what if there was another cat at the shop that day?

Philip Granger and the Rage of a Father

2010-02-17T22:29:27+00:00

Editors Notes:

As fitting this first anniversary of the final fall of Voldemort, the Quibbler takes great pride in presenting a series of articles by those who were there. So many were lost in the battle the prefaced the final confrontation between Voldemort and Harry Potter, it seems fitting to give those who did survive the chance to tell their stories while it is still fresh in their minds. Only one person remains who knows what actually happened at that final confrontation, until that person tells his story we can learn how others view those pivotal years and situations. With this issue the Quibbler goes to a weekly publication schedule, for the next year survivors of the rise, fall, return and final fall of Voldemort will tell their stories, starting with the father of one of our heroes, Mr. Philip Granger.

The Vast Hufflepuff Conspiracy

2010-02-17T15:29:03+00:00

There is no Hufflepuff Conspiracy.

Harry Potter and the YASMWTS

2010-02-09T18:24:22+00:00

The â€˜Do Over’ story is a bedrock sub-genre of Harry Potter fan fiction (and possibly all fan fiction) It’s been done to death, both really good stories, and the kind I tell. There have been stories that had Harry go back and take over the body of his younger self, to fix what once went wrong, stories where Hermione or Ron or Luna or Neville or someone else go back and take over or meld with the minds/personalities of their younger selves to fix what once went wrong, there have been stories where any and all of the above go back in time independent of their younger selves. I’ve enjoyed stories (generally one shots) where the baddies (chiefly Draco) come back in time to prevent Harry from becoming an even worse murdering ass than Voldemort ever dreamed of being. I’m sure out there somewhere there are stories of Tommy Riddle himself coming back in time to stop himself from winning… Never read any of those though… If they exist, they would probably be slash.

Wendell and Monica have a Daughter

2010-02-05T21:48:21+00:00

This story was born of my horror at what Hermione did to her parents in DH, for those who frequent the Caer Azkaban news group my views on Hermione raping her parent’s minds are already fairly well known. This was so out of character for my favorite bushy haired bookworm as to actually make me angry at her. After I calmed down, I read that section again. And got angry again, that sort of set the tone for my appreciation of DH.

Anyway, the â€˜Harry goes to Australia to retrieve Hermione’s Parents’ has become something of a standard fic-monger’s story, so here’s my version.

A curse Before Christmas

2010-02-03T13:50:24+00:00

On the Three and Four Part Harmony Yahoo group a suggestion was offered for a Holiday Drabble by the inimitable Hellishlord. To wit: -A random Death-Eater accidentally kills Santa Claus, and now Voldemort has to play the part of delivering presents. Not necessarily smutty, but good for a laugh if Voldemort, using all the resources at his disposal, decides that what a sixteen-year-old wizard really needs is a hot older woman. Due to the 'magic of Christmas', Voldemort and co can't really harm anyone. Bonus points for the Death-Eaters in elf suits. Further points for Voldemort shouting "You killed Santa Claus!? What do you mean, you killed Santa Claus!?"

Attack of the Lightning Man!

2010-01-23T09:19:05+00:00

This is a collection of shorts that grew out of a round robin on the 3 and 4 part Harmony Yahoo newsgroup. Basically it was posited that following the fall of Voldemort, Harry was bored and decided for no adequately explained reason to become a costumed Super Hero, known as Lightning man. This round robin went on for a few weeks and was a lot of fun. I believe the totality of the entries are posted here:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thegreathall_hp/files/Fics%20from%20Seelvor%27s%20group/

Anyway, the following shorts are what I offered to the round robin.

Luna's Plan

2010-01-23T01:20:01+00:00

Luna Lovegood is a girl who knows what she wants and knows how to go about getting it.

The Fast and the Furious

2010-01-23T01:12:30+00:00

Harry needs an edge to fight Voldemort, and Hermione finds it.

Harry Potter and Obscenely Ultimate Powerups of Utter Wrongness

2010-01-23T00:51:34+00:00

It's hardly fair that Harry is always the one to get the unexplained powerup just before the final battle.

Dark Lord Prevention Technology

2010-01-23T00:25:07+00:00

Luna has a goal, and a plan to achieve it.

Draco Malfoy and the Sins of the Father

2010-01-23T00:13:03+00:00

Draco just can't take it anymore.

Harry Potter the Lothario

2010-01-22T23:53:43+00:00

After the final battle, Harry finds the need to shed some stress.

Harry Potter and the Narrative Causality

2010-01-22T23:37:46+00:00

What if the power Voldemort knew not was a BH-209 Plascanon with the optional Glow of Doom?

Harry Potter and the Legitimate Businessmen

2010-01-22T23:01:37+00:00

Harry and Hermione depart on a Magical World tour to find the magic needed to defeat Voldemort.

Harry Potter and Here There Be Dragons

2010-01-22T22:48:01+00:00

It's the first task and Harry's Firebolt doesn't show up... What will he do?

Harry Potter and the Accountant's Gravel

2010-01-22T07:58:28+00:00

This story started as one of those 'The Characters confront the Author about what she got wrong' stories, intending for a much put upon Draco Malfoy cornering JKR and begging her to tell him why she hated him so much. I intended to have all of the human characters personalities flipped or at very least drastically modified, with the partial and non-human characters physically altered (Mostly because I wanted to write a short eriudite very gay clothes horse Hagrid) Then I started writing it. Sure it was fun, but it was also a whole lot of work, and frankly I'm not happy with how 'Little Tommy Riddle' turned out. I may revisit this in the future, but probably not.

Harry Potter and the Trademark Dispute

2010-01-21T23:09:57+00:00

Voldemort has finally gone too far, so Harry unleashes his most frightening weapon; The mind of Hermione Granger.

The Truth

2010-01-21T16:02:18+00:00

On his 16th Birthday Dumbledore presents Harry with a surprise. He's married.

The Read Through

2010-01-17T21:09:39+00:00

Ever wonder what the cast of the series is doing when they aren't 'on camera'?

Luna Lovegood and the Night of the Minilop

2010-01-17T20:06:06+00:00

Luna meets the Unspeakable Horror, and then speaks about him. A crossover with Pete Abram's Sluggy Freelance web comic.

Harry Potter and the Fine

2010-01-17T16:54:27+00:00

Voldemort learns that sometimes it's the little things that trip you up.

Oops!

2010-01-17T16:49:44+00:00

Harry gets some, Hermione gets some, Ron gets some... Oops.

Harry Potter and Hogwarts The Musical

2010-01-17T16:34:25+00:00

- The Slytherins put on a show! Could it possibly be fabulous?

Forever is an Exceedingly Long Time

2010-01-17T16:25:58+00:00

Tom Riddle finally gets what he always wanted. Immortality.

Call Me In The Morning

2010-01-17T13:58:51+00:00

Draco knows what Harry is getting, and he wants it too.

The Callipygian

2010-01-17T13:46:44+00:00

- Harry finds some motivation.

The Band

2010-01-17T13:31:53+00:00

Ron and Harry are bored, so the form a band...

Amelia Bones and the Man with the Umbrella

2010-01-15T23:41:15+00:00

A short look at the past of one of the strongest women in the Harry Potter universe.

The Answers

2010-01-15T23:35:03+00:00

Hermione has questions. She knows who she needs to ask.

The Cure

2010-01-15T13:38:49+00:00

Colin Creevey is a young man of mystery. We all think we know him, but do we?