Content Harry Potter Original Young Justice

Reviews

Wanderer posted a comment on Monday 1st January 2018 8:27pm for Leaving Home and Making Friends

*claps wildly* at the end of your song

Ahhh, returning to this story has been a true pleasure, I can't wait to delve back in! M

Ronjon posted a comment on Monday 25th December 2017 12:52am for Leaving Home and Making Friends

Is there another story prior to this one? I seem to remember reading about the Dursley's dying in some mishap that Harry's magic protected him. I would like to read that again. I have read about the technomage at some point, too. It just seemed a long time between updates so I got side tracked and forgot to go looking for it regularly. So glad it showed up in my email.

QOShea posted a comment on Friday 4th March 2011 10:16pm for Leaving Home and Making Friends

Clell, I have to ask.

When you were writing the part where Hermione was telling Harry about the Dark Lord bit, were you channeling Bill Cosby?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0KHt8xrQkk

QOShea

Wolf550e posted a comment on Tuesday 8th June 2010 5:17pm for Leaving Home and Making Friends

"If you love me you’ll email" - If this is 1991, email is not the prevalent method of communication, though it has existed for two decades already by that point. Also, you'd need at least a POTS (phone line) to get online.

"Cray-II mainframe" - Crays are supercomputers, not mainframes. Mainframes (both IBM and competitors) are not supercomputers. All Mainframes are slow and useless at breaking codes/locks/encryption/etc.

"the time the shrapnel from the landmine" - are you referring to a particular known incident, or some unspecified time of mortal peril? If the latter, change to "the time shrapnel from a landmine".

"I heard you say you lost a toad? This him?" - A toad of unspecified gender is an "it"

"I thought I’d lost him" - This is where Harry finds out it's a male toad.

"Since he hadn’t be tested" - grammar

"led him in the extremely low population conclusion" - led him to

"which was unto it’s self disturbing" - unto itself

"Tony Starks adopted son" - Stark's

"The Compartment door slide open. There stood a girl" - tense mix-up

"but what’s a Muggle" "Someone born of non-magical parents." - Wrong

"Blonde" "Redhead" - why are these adjectives capitalized?

You know that Grozny doesn't actually mean "Terrible", right?

"to stash his stash" - vocab

"as in the 6th richest man on the planet" - How many eleven year olds can name the sixth richest man on the planet? How many adults? The richest man on the planet is a celebrity. The 6th? No so much.

"but small than" - smaller

"frighteningly intelligent" - a very poor choice of adjective. An anti-intellectual one. I don't think you meant to evoke those connotations. Maybe saying Harry was pleasantly surprised at how intelligent they are would fit better?

"His Techsuit’s onboard inertial navigator was plotting their path (which did indeed include not one but three circles that caused retracing of their path), mean while the suit’s optical pickups were identifying landmarks. A few trips around the castle, the Techsuit would be plotting him the fastest path from anywhere in the castle to anywhere else." - In 1991, computer vision was not advanced enough to identify landmarks to perform navigation. Is this a crossover with a universe in which sci-fi style technology existed in 1991?

"Harry’s dorm was on the tenth level." - that's a lot of stairs.

NuitTombee posted a comment on Friday 4th June 2010 4:19pm for Leaving Home and Making Friends

I decided to re-read the previous chapters when I got the Chapter-Update message. Still as good as I remember and I shall read on.

Riegert8 posted a comment on Thursday 4th February 2010 9:02pm for Leaving Home and Making Friends

This is a good chapter