Content Harry Potter Original Young Justice

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Rage and Light posted a comment on Saturday 20th March 2010 3:10am

I loved this story when I found it on fanfic.net and I love just as much now, the slight changes make it more enjoyable a read, This is one of tbe best after Voldemort story I have found well done.

david

joeBob posted a comment on Saturday 20th March 2010 3:10am

"Which I suppose is how Hannah feels tonight"
:)

Amusing story; thanks.

Riegert8 posted a comment on Saturday 20th March 2010 2:24am

I find it funny that Dumbledore try to threaten Neville but turn out to look like a fool, the best part of this story that Dumbledore never found how Voldemort was defeated.

I like How Harry & Daphne work out their relationship

It sad that Remus died the way he did, Remus died alone and an lot regret over his action. In a way I hope that Remus would get a second chance to earn forgiveness from Harry & Tonks, but sometimes their is no forgiveness is possible.

Riegert8 posted a comment on Friday 19th March 2010 7:24pm

This is a good chapter

I like the talk that Harry had with Justin

It was sad that Remus told Tonks everything he did to the Potters, It not much of a shock that he was kicked out. Remus made some choices that he thought was the thing to do, but at the end the price for those choices cost him everything.

It sad that Harry thought that his relationship with Daphne was over, I thought that Tracey was a little too Harsh with Harry. Harry is selfish for turning down the contract, but if Harry accept the Contract he would still be the bad guy in Tracey eyes. But I am glad that in the end that Daphne was saved

You can say that Cyrus Greengrass is a brave and stupid man, Cyrus sould have known that Alastor Moody is really unbalance and only going to be push so far before he snapped. But Cyrus want power so much that he will do anything to get it, even it mean the lost of his daughters.

Zamia posted a comment on Friday 19th March 2010 6:59pm

Well thought out and described. Always liked Moody's frayed edges. Top read. Cheers.
Z

takon65 posted a comment on Friday 19th March 2010 6:24pm

Awesome story! This isn't the end is it?

Clell65619 replied:

= No, one more chapter.

Anansii posted a comment on Friday 19th March 2010 5:05pm

And we can give Harry one for creativity. I'd just figured he was going to sign the contract then, but backdating everything was much better. Also I love the various tales of Voldemort's demise - I suspect what really happened may prove an anticlimax. Then again, I don't know if I care if I ever find out. :)

Clell65619 replied:

- Hey, he stood there in front of the Wizengamot and told them that it was a case of Line Theft and Fraud, and then proceeded to commit both.

- An honest guy Harry is...

Entilzah posted a comment on Thursday 18th March 2010 9:17am

Another well done few chapter! I do like the way you have cleaned them up from your original postings... the essence is not difference, but it comes across cleaner and even more professional.

This story is an excellent amalgamation of plot with characterization and humor. The stories of how Voldemort snuffs it are entertaining, well written, and completely not the focus of the story!

Well done!

Deborahsu posted a comment on Thursday 18th March 2010 8:08am

Excellent story! Unexpected stuff happening, romance, laughter ... I'm afraid that there's going to be something bad happening! LOL! Thank you dear for writing.

Zamia posted a comment on Thursday 18th March 2010 3:18am

What they pulled on Rita is worthy of any of the marauders or the twins. Very enjoyable 3 chapters.Cheers
Z

ps I will not get into the debate, but have you a clone? Z

Clell65619 replied:

- Not so much, no.

00_Knight posted a comment on Wednesday 17th March 2010 9:08am

Brilliantly done! Another exciting chapter with a promise for something exciting to happen. After all Harry is a TROUBLE magnet!

Hope Alastor is having fun on that island with all those pretty girls. Other than that I don't have anything else to say about this chapter.

-P.S. I liked that whole Weasly scene!

-P.S.SSsssss I also noticed you didn't do much to Ron the Git, but you left it open when Daphne offered help. So I am waiting on his comeuppance!

sunrisesunset posted a comment on Wednesday 17th March 2010 3:16am

I've been reading over all of your Harry Potter fics, both here and on fanfiction.net. At first glance I thought you weren't quite as good as some of the other authors here at FFA. But it's stories like this one, and chapters like this, that made me change my mind. I love your characterizations of usually minor roles like Hannah Abbot. I appreciate your realistic treatment of having sex for the first time. And I laugh my head off at your continual pranking of Dumbledore with those stories. I know you can't possibly be serious... but some part me of still remains unsure until Harry bursts out laughing.

It's all in the details. Great job, and I look forward to the next chapter.

Clell65619 replied:

- Actually on second and third glances it becomes very evident that I'm not as good as the rest of the FFA gang.

- I'm just here to make the rest of them look good.

Sterling posted a comment on Wednesday 17th March 2010 12:37am

This has been another fun read. My only real gripe is the villainization of the Weasley's. I can definitely see AU's where Harry doesn't end up with Ginny. I am not a big fan of how JKR just neatly encapsulated the relationships at the end of her book. Real life romance, especially teen romance, doesn't work like that in most cases. However, that being said I don't like it to much when a writer just decides to make a good portion of the Weasley family as vile as you have portrayed Ginny and Molly (Though I think I could see Ron and Arthur acting like they did, if Molly was as you portrayed). They are all human and have their faults, but it just seems so out of character for them to act as self-serving and vicious as you have portrayed them. This is seen a lot in fics where Harry doesn't end up with Ginny. I guess it allows a writer to get on with whatever "ship" they want. While being able to marginalize the Weasley family's involvment by estranging Harry.

That being said. I DO find this to be an enjoyable story. I like the byplay you have going on between Neville and Harry quite a bit. The narrative is good. You do well conveying a scene without having to be overly verbose. You are also very good with dialogue. It sounds very natural and has a good flow to it. My more negative comments are mainly a matter of personal taste I imagine. Different people see these characters in different lights. I just felt like expressing my view in that regard. It doesn't diminish how I like the story and I will very likely be reading any further updates.

Thank you for the time and effort you have taken to share this with us.

joeBob posted a comment on Tuesday 16th March 2010 10:15pm

Hmm. The Weasley's reveal, X-mas 1996, doesn't seem as sinister as I remember -- even seems kind in a certain light. Heck, if they'd just talked to Harry, he might have even agreed.

Logan_MacLeod posted a comment on Tuesday 16th March 2010 8:51pm

This is a great story, please keep it going

Keronshara posted a comment on Tuesday 16th March 2010 8:01pm

Harry must be suicidal. Within the first few sentences to her he calls her old & then he calls her "old, bitter & alone." Saying that to a woman is a sure fire way to get yourself killed, usually very painfully & slowly.

I'm surprised Daphne even believed the Daily Prophet story about Harry being a pauper since she stayed the night at Potter Manor & went to a club that she knows Harry & Neville both own along with having Harry pay for everything on their dates. Plus in the first chapter Daphne says to Harry, "You visit Gringotts the Friday before school starts and the goblins confiscate the fortunes of all marked Death Eaters. You obviously had nothing to do with it." So the Death Eater Retribution took place WEEKS BEFORE she had her second date with Harry & where she saw the above mentioned signs of Harry's wealth (Potter manor, owning a dance club, paid house elves, paying for things on the dates, etc.) -- Proof to her from her own experiences that Harry was no pauper & the Daily Prophet was making up lies. (I always wondered why she would believe that when she KNEW Harry couldn't have been bankrupt.)

Riegert8 posted a comment on Tuesday 16th March 2010 7:54pm

It nice that Hannah has a talk with Daphne, but it was funny if Daphne walk away from Harry that Hannah will till Susan to take a chance. It great that Harry & Daphne could work things out

I find the Flash back very good, I could see how Harry had a fall out with some members of the Weasley's.

That is really funny that it be in the paper that Harry lost his money, but more funny when the Weasley's confront him about it. It seem that Molly & Ginny all they care about was the money, wow Ginny has a big ego and I thought that Draco was bad. The best part of the money thing was that Harry know that Daphne has no Interested in his money,it most blow Ginny's mind when she learn the truth about Harry's money. Molly & Ginny must felt like morons by taking back the marriage contract, but then again Molly and Ginny believe a story from Rita Skeeter is really sad.

I like how Harry turned down the rest of the marriage contracts

Dumbledore heard a new version on how Harry defeat Voldemort, he believe this one like he did the first two. Make me wonder how stupid is Dumbledore

I feel sorry for Remus that he lost everything, but he has nobody to blame but himself.

I like Harry visit to the Slytherin common room, It funny when people of Slytherin learn that this was not Harry's first visit. The story Harry told was very Interesting

MrRobertsIII posted a comment on Tuesday 16th March 2010 6:04pm

I always get such a chuckle reading your fics. Love your sense of humor. Even rereading them is fun.

Clell65619 replied:

- Glad you're enjoying it.

Bob Officer posted a comment on Tuesday 16th March 2010 12:59pm

Great story.

Perfect chapter and wonderful set up for the test which you outline. from Hannah. Will Daphne pass or fail? Will the Weasley prats continue to show their true weasel nature?

What will be the next outrageous Story told Albus of how Harry defeated Voldie?

Waiting is so hard sometimes. Make me want to offer to beta for you, just to get to the story sooner.

It is that good!

Thank you.

00_Knight posted a comment on Tuesday 16th March 2010 7:18am

Hmmm, should have expected that last scene when you used this sentence, "Whatever happens, you are going to have to face the fact that if Hermione calls Harry will go to her." Even when she didn't actually call!

Looking forward to the unholy shitstomping of one Ronald "Soon-to-be-Bloody" Weasly. =D Give him the chair! ~reference Shrek 1 champion scene~

As to why Daphne wouldn't forgive Harry over this, I don't know why. Hannah as good as told her so. Both Ron leaving Hermione, and Harry running to her aid. Though I guess you could leave Harry in suspense for a few seconds and then Daphne giggling at his reaction. Seriously though, if Ron doesn't have the shit kicked out of him or in need of of a x100 powered viagra then I'm leaving and never coming back! Um.... probably just to check the rest of the story updates... But I'll do it under protest! ;)

Other than that, I loved Tonk's suggestion on what to do with one or the majority of the Weaslys all except the twins! Who should be on Hermione's side in this situation. Despite the crap they've given her, they love her!

Superb story all around!