Manatheron posted a comment on Monday 8th March 2010 9:53pm
you know, I'm quite certain I've read this story word for word elsewhere. is there a link to your FFN account I could possibly have? just to verify that someone hasn't ripped your works off?
Trscroggs posted a comment on Monday 8th March 2010 9:21pm
I remember this story. I enjoyed it a great deal. I thought using other stories, or the basis of them, for Harry's lies to Dumbeldore was a great and funny idea.
I'm very glad to see it here, as sometimes I have serious problems using the Cher Azcaban group to find complete pieces of stories.
MartinEB72 posted a comment on Monday 8th March 2010 6:56pm
Is this just going to be a reprint of your story from fanfiction.net? Or are you going to change it? You should mark it a a repost if it is.
Cyborg posted a comment on Monday 8th March 2010 6:20pm
great first chapter. I must say, however, that the gap you've tried to create between Harry and Ron and Hermione is not a very strong one. I think that Ron would go against his mother in favor of Harry... and Hermione certainly would if he didn't.
It's just a small thing on character development. Feel free to leave it as it is. Otherwise, your characterization is clear and flowing.
I noticed a few Americanisms in their dialogue as well, such as "sweet" that detracted from the story. Once again, personal taste.
Great story so far! Update soon!
Riegert8 posted a comment on Monday 8th March 2010 6:05pm
Neville turn out to be a very good friend to Harry, Wow that is something that Harry get so many Marriage Contracts. Oh you can say one thing for sure is that Harry has options, the shock was that Harry got one from Hannah.
I like that Harry meet some new friends that starting their first year at the school, I love the prank that Harry pulled on the twins. But I do find it weird that Hermione is spending no time with Harry just because Harry had a falling out with some of the family, Harry was Hermione first friend since coming to Hogswart.
It is something that Dumbledore want to know how Harry defeat Voldemort but at the same keep hidden how he defeat his dark lord, The best part is that Harry won't tell Dumbledore in the near future.
I thought it was nice how Harry turn down the Marriage Contracts with Daphne & Tracy, I like that Harry has went on an couple of dates with Daphne.
dwilken posted a comment on Monday 8th March 2010 3:22pm
Heh. Well-written *and* humorous.