Wolf550e posted a comment on Tuesday 8th June 2010 5:17pm
"If you love me you’ll email" - If this is 1991, email is not the prevalent method of communication, though it has existed for two decades already by that point. Also, you'd need at least a POTS (phone line) to get online.
"Cray-II mainframe" - Crays are supercomputers, not mainframes. Mainframes (both IBM and competitors) are not supercomputers. All Mainframes are slow and useless at breaking codes/locks/encryption/etc.
"the time the shrapnel from the landmine" - are you referring to a particular known incident, or some unspecified time of mortal peril? If the latter, change to "the time shrapnel from a landmine".
"I heard you say you lost a toad? This him?" - A toad of unspecified gender is an "it"
"I thought I’d lost him" - This is where Harry finds out it's a male toad.
"Since he hadn’t be tested" - grammar
"led him in the extremely low population conclusion" - led him to
"which was unto it’s self disturbing" - unto itself
"Tony Starks adopted son" - Stark's
"The Compartment door slide open. There stood a girl" - tense mix-up
"but what’s a Muggle" "Someone born of non-magical parents." - Wrong
"Blonde" "Redhead" - why are these adjectives capitalized?
You know that Grozny doesn't actually mean "Terrible", right?
"to stash his stash" - vocab
"as in the 6th richest man on the planet" - How many eleven year olds can name the sixth richest man on the planet? How many adults? The richest man on the planet is a celebrity. The 6th? No so much.
"but small than" - smaller
"frighteningly intelligent" - a very poor choice of adjective. An anti-intellectual one. I don't think you meant to evoke those connotations. Maybe saying Harry was pleasantly surprised at how intelligent they are would fit better?
"His Techsuit’s onboard inertial navigator was plotting their path (which did indeed include not one but three circles that caused retracing of their path), mean while the suit’s optical pickups were identifying landmarks. A few trips around the castle, the Techsuit would be plotting him the fastest path from anywhere in the castle to anywhere else." - In 1991, computer vision was not advanced enough to identify landmarks to perform navigation. Is this a crossover with a universe in which sci-fi style technology existed in 1991?
"Harry’s dorm was on the tenth level." - that's a lot of stairs.
Wynter posted a comment on Sunday 6th June 2010 11:14pm
Voldemort! The amazing, horrifying, terrible, insane, furry, cute and all around nasty being eater of all things cute and fluffy....................... SQUIRREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wynter posted a comment on Sunday 6th June 2010 7:02pm
Marvels are nice and all... but have you given any thought to John Constantine?
Christopher Estep posted a comment on Sunday 6th June 2010 6:45pm
Seems that things have gotten Seriously Twisted for all the adversaries - Lucius is laying low, Sirius pays a visit to Tony Stark (and sends a robbery attempt pear-shaped at a charity event he attends with the billionaire), and poor Dumbles is laid low by the first inventions coming out of the Stark/Patil/Granger consortium. (I did *not* use the name *Potter* on purpose, as Harry calls himself Harry *Stark*; therefore, Stark/Patil/Granger.) And a poor dog is the last to glimpse the infamous Voldi-Squirrel!
tangentsferret posted a comment on Saturday 5th June 2010 9:21pm
OK, I've read stories where the Quirrel/Voldemort fusion is referred to as "Quirrelmort", but this is the first time I can recall seeing the actual appearance of "Squirrelmort".
Hey, what would have happened if "Squirrelmort" had met up with Squirrel Girl?
dg Fry posted a comment on Saturday 5th June 2010 8:43pm
I'm really glad to see you continuing this one. Keep up the good work.
GOing to be interesting to see where Padma goes with the counter.
Toran posted a comment on Saturday 5th June 2010 4:25pm
Nice chapter. Harry's logic when teaching the other children is hurting my head though. How can he get it soo wrong? after all. In binary 0011 = 3. Binary is also almost always done in series of 4.
- Harry's lesson is on basic binary notation and math. When he said 'one and one' he wasn't referencing logic, rather the basic math expression for addition, so 'one and one' equals 'one plus one'.
- When it comes to how one 'reads' binary notation depends entirely upon the school of binary you are first taught. I was introduced to Octal, and three digit binary comprehension a week before they brought Hex and four digit binary comprehension into the lessons. Even today it is quite common for direct front panel input to a mainframe to be in Octal referenced binary.
00_Knight posted a comment on Saturday 5th June 2010 1:16pm
Oh Snaps! After reading your reviews, and your reply to Snaq, That is one of the most hilarious things to see! Voldesquirrel! Poor dog.....
00_Knight posted a comment on Saturday 5th June 2010 1:10pm
An update of the technomage! Now I need to re-read this story so I can refresh my memory of it!
Can't wait till the next update!
M. F. Enright posted a comment on Saturday 5th June 2010 7:27am
excellent story, so far. thank you!!
kb0 posted a comment on Saturday 5th June 2010 5:41am
Not much action with Harry, but still a fun chapter. Loved Sirius's card. :) Sirius as a costumed hero was also fun.
I was really hoping that the release of the recent Iron Man 2 movie would inspire a new chapter in this story. Whether it did or not, thanks for posting this!
morriganscrow posted a comment on Saturday 5th June 2010 12:53am
That was a really fun read! I particularly enjoyed the scene with Sirius and Tony at the fund raiser, especially The Wizard/Magician. Keep up the great job, and thanks for all your hard work on this excellent story.
Quincy posted a comment on Saturday 5th June 2010 12:45am
Thanks! I look forward to updates of each of your series, this one most of all.
MarinePotterfan posted a comment on Friday 4th June 2010 10:14pm
Thanks for writing
joeBob posted a comment on Friday 4th June 2010 9:15pm
Entertaining. Thanks for the update.
Snag posted a comment on Friday 4th June 2010 7:57pm
Oh, Sirius. Don't go and join the spandex crowd. The union dues are murder.
Voldemort the squirrel? I fear to ask how that happened, yet I cannot turn away!
In conclusion: Fun stuff!
- I don't know if Sirius will be doing much more Daring Do, it just seemed like fun for now...
- Tom had to anchor himself to something... As weakened as he was by Agatha's little hex a small mammal is all he could handle. He's feeling better now and trading up to a doggy.
JaCee2u posted a comment on Friday 4th June 2010 7:50pm
I love this story, but I have one minor thing to whine about. In binary, 1 AND 1 is 1. 1 OR 1 is 1. 1 PLUS 1 is 10. And from back 25 years ago when I was dealing with Assembler, 1 XOR 1 is 0.
Thank God and prescription drugs I've forgotten most of that time of my life.(grin)
Thanks for this installment, and I'm looking forward to the next.
- Harry's just covering math right now, so and=plus. It's not until he gets to logic he needs to watch his terms.
DrT posted a comment on Friday 4th June 2010 6:14pm
Well, I hope Padma knows what she's doing, 'cause I sure don't! And I can see why Sirius wouldn't stand out in the Marvel version of New York! You'd think crooks would know to stick to places like Scranton and Binghamton!
- I know that if *I* was looking to do some crime in the Marvel universe it would be as far from the spandex types as humanly possible.
- But then if they were all that smart, they wouldn't be hired muscle...
Waywren Truesong posted a comment on Friday 4th June 2010 6:02pm
I jumped for joy to see the update note in my inbox, and I actually literally cackled myself out of the chair when Sirius took up costumed crimefighting. Particularly 'is there a Magician?'. SO FULL OF WIN.
I'm also loving Tony and Sirius getting to like each other. This will make things much easier for all three of them.
- You can't expect the guy to be up on his hero and villian names... I was going to have him go through a whole list until he hit on an unused name, but that seemed to be milking it.
Wolfric posted a comment on Friday 4th June 2010 4:50pm
Fine chapter. I don't seem to remember why Voldemort is a squirel, if that's been covered in the story. Thanks for writing. W.
- No real reason for him to be a squirrel, it just seemed funny and I needed to get him moving toward a return to power.